Short jokes
What sound does a baby make when you put it in a blender? I don’t know. I was too busy wanking.
My friend wanted to say egg puns, so I told him, "Omelette you do your egg jokes."
How did a man kill his car? He throttled it.
How many Americans does it take to fill the Grand Canyon?
4
I want to die.
What was one cool thing about Hitler?
He used to paint his thoughts on the wall with a gun.
What's the difference between Autism and Gender?
Autism is on a spectrum.
What do you call an Indian babysitter?
Nanny.
My nan coughed and threw up a lung. Now she is dead.
Dick.
Did you hear on the news that a midget psychic broke out of jail?
There is a small medium at large.
2 + 2 is 4, minus one, that's 3. Quick maths.
Your mum is so poor, she can't afford free samples.
How does Moses make his coffee?
Hebrews it.
When you kill people in a war, it's perfectly fine, but when it's a school, everyone has a problem with it, wth.
Why is it so hard to make a party on Earth?
Because you need to planet.
Q: What is a Mexican's favorite restaurant?
A: On The Border.
What's long, hard, and has cum in it?
A cuCUMber.
What do you call a cow grazing a field with 50% grass and 50% weed?
High steaks gambling.
There was one girl. She met 5000 guys. She had sex with each of them seven times. She became... - flip screen (=).