Short jokes
Why are Mexican families so big?
They don’t know how to put a condom on.
I raped a girl and I liked it.
I hope my girlfriend won't mind it.
It felt so wrong, it felt so right.
Don't mean I'm in love tonight.
What do you call a premature Chinese baby birth? Wong Tai-Ming.
Are you made of gold, titanium, sulfur, titanium, and carbon?
Cuz you’re looking a little big Au Ti S Ti C.
Motherhood is a fairytale in reverse. You start in a beautiful gown and end up cleaning everyone's messes.
What do moms want for Mother's Day? Replacement silverware.
My wife is mad that I have no sense of direction. So I packed up my stuff and went right.
I have a joke about chemistry, but I don't think it will get a reaction.
My mom told me a joke about boxing.
I guess I missed the punch line.
My husband asked me to get 6 cans of Sprite at the store. I realized when I got home that I had picked 7-Up.
Why do some couples go to the gym together?
Because they want their relationship to work out.
My kids told me to have a good day, so I left them to their own devices and hoped for the best.
Why was it so hard for the pirate to call his mom? Because she left the phone off the hook!
What color flowers do mama cats like to get?
Purrrrrrrple flowers.
Every time you feel lucky to have your mother in your life, what should you tell her?
I really hit the mother lode with you!
What did mommy spider say to baby spider?
You spend too much time on the web.
What did the hermit crabs do on Mother's Day?
They shellabrated their mommy.
What did the mama moose say to the calf after it got on her nerves?
"I'm not a-moosed right now."
What's Momma bear's favorite baseball team? The Cubs.
What do you call a mom that can’t draw? Tracy.