Short jokes
Why can't you make jokes about catholic priests?
Because they blow up in your face.
My wife is mad that I have no sense of direction. So I packed up my stuff and went right.
My mom told me a joke about boxing.
I guess I missed the punch line.
Why do some couples go to the gym together?
Because they want their relationship to work out.
Why was it so hard for the pirate to call his mom? Because she left the phone off the hook!
Every time you feel lucky to have your mother in your life, what should you tell her?
I really hit the mother lode with you!
What did the hermit crabs do on Mother's Day?
They shellabrated their mommy.
What did the mama moose say to the calf after it got on her nerves?
"I'm not a-moosed right now."
What's Momma bear's favorite baseball team? The Cubs.
What do you call a mom that can’t draw? Tracy.
How do crabs honor their mom’s birthday? The shell-abrate.
"Did you hear about the worst zoo in the world? It only had one dog in it. It was a Shih Tzu."
If certain diseases spread in water, why does Africa have them?
I think I'm a red zebra!! Cuz I'm stripped red, iykwim.
American people: We will throw your teabags in the ocean!
British: At least our towers didn’t fall. 😎
If you buy a Renault Megane, all your girls will be gone.
Banker: I have the right to take your money!
Me: Check my name.
Banker: Robin D. Bank, why?
Banker: *realizes*
Me: 😈🖐️ Gimme, gimme.
Why did the cheese blush? Because it saw the salad dressing.
What is the difference between Juice Wrld and an orphan?
One is loved by all.
What do you do when you see a lady in a wheelchair?
You grab a stick and put it through the wheelchair and call her nunchucks.