Short jokes
What's a little white dot on a priest's dick? A baby tooth.
TV Darth Vader: "I'm your father!"
Orphans: "Yea."
What's the difference between a sidewalk, a drug dealer, and a prostitute?
A: A sidewalk's crack doesn't leave an odor!
What does a cannibal call a wheelchair user? A Drive-Thru.
What did the German Shepherd dog say to Hitler?
"Mein Führer ist steckenbleiben in meinen Zähnen."
Why does Joe only have 264 days in his calendar?
Because he can't celebrate Father's Day.
What do you call a U.S. border hopper?
A Mexican jumping bean.
Why do basketball players hate gravity?
Because it's always bringing them down.
Don't say your life is a joke, because jokes got meaning.
What gun isn’t allowed in Africa? A water gun.
What do moms want for Mother's Day? Replacement silverware.
Celebrating Mother's Day is confusing, says my cousin.
Yo mama must be a giant, 'cause my Mini P.E.K.K.A. goes berserk on her!
I got a call from McDonald's; they want their sign back.
Why did all the numbers laugh at 22? Because it had "tu tu's."
What did the hermit crabs do on Mother's Day?
They shellabrated their mommy.
What do hookers and porn stars have in common? They get paid for sex and get STD's.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
I suck.
I suck who?
Michael Jackson.
I like dicks... sporting goods.
Roses are red, Obama is well spoken, I'm sorry sir, but the ice cream machine is broken.