Short jokes
So, little Johnny is walking down the street and asks a stranger, "Sir, what are hormones?"
Then the man replies, "The moans of a fucking whore!"
Why is Johnson’s baby shampoo the best lubricant for anal sex?
- No more tears.
What did Schrödinger say to Shakespeare?
"To be and not to be."
What do you call a titan that can't swim?
TITANic
For being a big company, NASA is openly saying they want pictures of Uranus.
Why is the last part of orphanage "age?"
Because it doesn't matter your age.
Teacher: What’s the closest planet?
Kids yell: Sun.
Except for one.
Other kid: Uranus.
Teacher: Uranus?
Other kid: Yeah, it’s right there.
Why do orphans eat cereal with water?
Their dad did not come back with the milk.
"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"The FBI."
"The FBI who?"
"Are you dumb? It's the f#cking FBI, now open up!"
When you are sleeping in class and the shooter sees you, then they wake you up and say, "Let’s team up," like, what the f*ck?
Son: Hi.
Dad: Yo.
I am not a nerd ;). I'm just smarter than you.
To a Mexican person: When I first met you, I thought you were going to say, "My name is Enrique, I have a job for you."
What did the girl with no hands get for her birthday?...
We don't know; she hasn't opened it yet.
Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl urinate? Because walls.
A kid goes into a restaurant without parents, and a waitress came up and said, "You have to leave; this is a family restaurant."
Why'd Susie go down the slide too fast?
Because her wheelchair was good.
Penis gay be like: among sussy, ding ding ding ding ding ding di di ding.
Imposter is SuS!?
When a girl was having an asthma attack, Ariana said, "Just keep breathing and breathing and breathin!!!!!"
What do dead babies and fruit have in common? Both can become smoothies with the help of a blender!