Short jokes
Welcome to Jimmy's orphanage and pizza shop, where today's loss is a sauce. How may I help you?
I had to share a table recently with a disabled man. When I asked him for the salt and pepper, he had to make two trips.
Your mom is so poor, she buys used food.
Why did the koala go to bed?
Because it was leafing.
Who is Joe?
You reply back: Who is Candice?
They reply back: Who is Candice?
You say: "Candice nuts fit into Joe Mama's mouth."
What does the depressed person say to the happy person?
"Damn, I wish I was on the stuff you're on, lol."
Why do orphans always get picked on?
They can't run and tell their parents.
What do you call a wild cow in a shop with old things?
A bull in a china shop.
Why did the cheetah always cheetah against the lion?
Because she knew the lion was always lion.
Why are the Twin Towers and after girls kill all boys similar?
There used to be two but now there's one...
Me: What do you call 4 depressed kids?
My friend: What?
Me: The Suicide Squad.
I hate life, and I'm gay.
How would you multiply numbers in octoschool?
You octoply, obviously.
Hey guess what...
What...
My penis is big.
Yo mama's so fat, she woke up on both sides of the bed.
Where are virgins usually born?
Virginia.
What’s a Muslim’s favorite car?
A Citroën C4.
Roses are red. Sunflowers are yellow.
Your mom is so fat she looks like a marshmallow.
What’s the best kind of candy to offer at a Pride parade?
Skittles.
What do you call a retarded fruit?
Mentally in-pear-ed.