Short jokes
I am not making a noose; I am making an unsubscribe button for life.
I pushed a disabled kid down a busy road and yelled out, "Mario Kart!"
Has anyone alive ever died?
Is this our eternal life?
Why does Joe only have 264 days in his calendar?
Because he can't celebrate Father's Day.
Huggy Wuggy big big Huggy Wuggy big big big big Huggy Wuggy laugh laugh smooch smooch Huggy Wuggy *insert clapping noise*
I pray to a dead human I hope to be reunited with.
Jesus, that's sick.
God = what I hope to be.
Devil = what I can't accept.
I hope to be like Jesus, a dead martyr. I can't accept that my religion is evil.
If I had a dollar for every time you said something smart, I'd be broke.
What is the difference between an orphan and a mailman?
The mailman goes home at the end of the day.
How many orphans does it take to repair a house? None, they don't have one.
What do parents and dark humor have in common? Some get it, and some don't.
One more 360 noscope for my montage.
You should know it's important to wash your sex toys. That's why priests invented baptism.
What is similar between Hitler and Trump?
They both want to keep races out.
Are you suicidal? Remember, if you ever feel unwanted, just check to see your warrants.
Remember, the confession booth is not a glory hole.
I am going to be a ghost for Halloween. I actually want to be a ghost every day, because at least I'd be dead.
I know your hairline's pretty bent, but your gender's on a different level.
Why did the emo person cross the road?
TO GET TO THE OTHER SIDE Haha.
When I die, I’ll die in a trash can.