Short jokes
What is the difference between me and a fire?
It's hot.
Yo mama so ugly,
they won’t give her a vaccine so she can keep wearing her mask.
What does the A stand for in "orphan, adopt" from the orphan company?
What's the slogan for a Muslim gym?
Might in dynamite.
You're so fat,
when you stepped on the scale,
Buzz Lightyear came out and said,
"To infinity and beyond!"
You’re so fat that when you sit on the toilet, it says, “A B C D E F G, get your butt off of me!”
Me: Hey Siri, did you know Candice died?
Siri: Yes, I was informed she died from sugondese.
Me: What is that?
Siri: Sugondese nuts.
What do parents feeding their kids and terrorists have in common?
“Here comes the airplane!”
Q: Why did Bill Cosby get away with it?
A: Because the women were all Cosby-ing for it!
Q: Why can’t Jesus make fun of gay people?
A: He got nailed first.
Karma is like rape.
What goes around comes around, like a dead rape victim in a whirlpool.
What do you do when you see a lady in a wheelchair?
You grab a stick and put it through the wheelchair and call her nunchucks.
There's something on your chin, no, the third one down.
No one:
Nothing:
Not a single f***ing soul:
Spanish Empire: DING DONG YOUR RELIGION IS WRONG!
What is Juan the junkmail dispenser's nickname? Spic and spam.
What's the same thing between a baby and a grenade?
They both make a sound when thrown.
Your hairline [is] so bad it went down like the Twin Towers.
What is the smallest skyscraper in the world? The World Trade Centre.
Smash or pass the Twin Towers?
Planes: Smash
What's the difference between your mum and the Twin Towers?
I would smash the Twin Towers.