Short jokes
What is the difference between Sir Isaac Newton and the baby I just stabbed?
Sir Isaac Newton died a virgin.
What's the difference between Autism and Gender?
Autism is on a spectrum.
I complimented my neighbor's skeleton decoration for Halloween, but they just told me that it's their anorexic daughter.
I would slap you, but that would be animal abuse.
I hope there is a lift to heaven. I shouldn’t be making jokes though.
What store has the most vegetables?
A nursing home.
What does Helen Keller say when she touches a basketball?
Duhhuuughhhr.
What's a pedophile's favorite place to go in?
Kum and Go.
Right, I have a dog and his name is Syndrome, and whenever he is good, I go "Good Syndrome," but whenever he is naughty, I go "Down Syndrome."
What's the first thing you say in anal sex..... "Holy shit!"
I like my women like I like my coffee.
Without other people's dicks in it.
I saw a disabled person in the super market. They were at the vegetable aisle.
My girlfriend broke up with me because of my pasta fetish.
I'm feeling cannelloni right now.
What did mama cow say to baby cow? -- "It's pasture bedtime."
Why do you put a baby in a blender feet first?
So you can see the look on its face as you climax.
What do you call a cow grazing a field with 50% grass and 50% weed?
High steaks gambling.
What's worse than five babies stapled to one tree?
One baby stapled to five trees.
What did the pimp order at the Chinese restaurant?
He ordered some cock-bang-ho.
What can a rock possibly say?
Answer: I'll fuck ya mum rock hard.
You heard of Spider-Man: No Way Home. Now get ready for:
Orphan: No Way Home.