Short jokes
A man went to a Ford dealership hoping to find a car, but he said they weren't affordable.
Guess who I saw at school today?
Everyone I looked at. loooooooool
What happens when you have a kid with Tourette's and a hair trigger?
The Las Vegas shooting.
What do orphans need in order to mail letters?
Food stamps.
Spell "IOUT", no space.
Why is 3 such a helpful number? Because 3 helped out on a science project 4 5!
I'm so lonely, even the alphabet says "Hi."
JK.
What's a duck's favorite drug?
Cwack.
I tried a pun about water, but people "sea" right through it, and when people complain, they are usually just being a beach.
Why did the chipmunk swim on its back?
To keep its nuts dry.
What does a Jamaican guy say to an Asian?
Poke me, mon.
What’s one thing that a gay person is scared of?
A gay guy that’s straight!
Well, I'm off to the orphanage to tell yo mama jokes.
What to gift a child molester who already has everything? A bigger county with more believers.
Did you know that the Royal family like carnivals?
Princess Diana was really fond of bumper cars.
Where do you take Stephen Hawking when he dies?
The Apple repair store.
Who is king of the insects?
The Monarch.
What’s the difference between a tire and three-hundred-sixty-five used condoms?
One’s a good year; the other’s a great year!
Why are elephants scared of computers?
Because of the mouse.
I tried to think of how lighting works.
Then it struck me!