Short jokes
Did Jesus die a virgin?
Of course not, he got nailed before he died!
How do you tell when a blonde just lost her virginity?
Her crayons are still wet.
You guys asked for a joke? Well, you're in luck, because you already are one!
Why did my boyfriend leave me?
Because he's gay.
But why did he come back to me?
Because I'm actually a guy :-)
What do you call an octopus with a hat?
An octopus with a hat, of course.
Q: Why didn’t Santa eat the milk and cookies you set out for him?
A: He doesn’t exist, you childish sh**!
Why didn't the kid cancer patients like his joke?
He said, "You'll understand when you get older!"
What's the definition of total chaos?
A bus load of retards passing a magnet factory.
How do you spell racecar backwards?
racecar
How do you spell racecar sideways?
Paul Walker's death.
I'm a proud racist. I love kart racing, street racing. Any kind will do.
When you turn 100, you get a letter from the Queen. When you turn 16, you get a DM from Prince Andrew.
What is the difference between a nun and a prostitute?
One is for Sunday morning, and one is for Sunday night.
What is the difference between a nun and a prostitute?
One serves the nailed to the cross, one nailed by her boss.
What do you call a white person from Africa?
Albino.
How do you find a black person in the dark without a flashlight?
Tell them a joke to make them smile.
Hello, it is the suicide line. Just keep hanging.
What’s the difference between a man and a margarita?
A margarita hits the spot every time.
What do sharks and people have in common? The great ones are white.
I wasn't going to tell another emo joke, but I didn't want to leave anyone hanging.
How do you tell an Indian person from a Muslim?
Are you 7/11 or 9/11?