Short jokes
I’m reading a book about Anti-Gravity. It’s impossible to put down!
Sally has no arms. What did she get for Christmas? I don't know, she hasn't opened it yet.
What do you get when you cross a cow with a coffee bean grower?
De-calf!
Stephen Hawking had pins and needles and got told to walk it off.
What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend?
Wipe his ass.
I was gonna make a joke about sex, but you won’t get it.
When a woman decides to abort, it is called a decision, but when I run my truck into a playground of kids, it is called murder.
What do you call anal rape?
Ass cream.
Kenny is a comfort snacker.
Every time he's stressed, he eats his mom's pussy.
If Hillary and Biden got locked in a room together, all they would talk about is how to ruin America and make a plan to steal children.
Yo mama's so fat that she used a telephone pole as a tampon.
What happens when an angel and nun "have some fun and forget pills"?
The nun gets pregNUNt.
A blonde walks into a bar.
Ouch.
Are you in the alphabet 'cause I wanna give you the D.
How does the dog dance?
He doesn't... he's dead.
What did the penis say to its pee?
"Urine."
What's red, six inches long, and made my girlfriend cry when I fed it to her?
Her miscarriage.
What do you call a girl with only one leg? Eileen.
What about an Asian girl with only one leg? Irene.
Why are all women's feet small? So they can stand closer to the stove.
My mom said to let Jesus come inside me; now I can't sit down.