Short jokes
A kid got a bike and a soccer ball for Christmas. He was still unhappy.
Why?
The kid had no legs.
Dick.
I, for one, give President Joe Biden my full support, and anything else he can find in my previously rented gym locker. 🤣
1 "Knock knock."
2 "Who's there?"
1 "Interrupting physicist."
2 "Interrupting who?"
1 "Muon!!!"
I was fuming when I lost my job as a window cleaner, like who built the Twin Towers anyway?
The Statue of Liberty is French; she ain't even American. Deport that bitch!
What do you call a male robot who wants to be a girl?
A trans-former.
Doom is eternal.
Why do dwarfs love penis? It tickles their insides.
How many people can you fit in a car?
6 - 3 in the back, 2 in the front, and my nan in the ashtray.
I am always high, welcome to bipolar disorder. LMAO. (Don't bother to like or comment, I just had to say this.)
Why was the peanut butter upset at his retirement party?
He was roasted.
Yo mama so fat, that’s why people don’t want to marry her, except for fat guys.
When you get suspended from school for giving the deaf kid AirPods for his birthday.
What do Marshall Tucker Band and Kobe Bryant have in common?
Their last big hit was "Fire on the Mountain."
Why do pirates say, "Argh my Hardees?"
Because that's how you tell when they have the hards.
Why are we still fighting in darkness?
"Mission failed, soldier, we will get 'em next time."
Your forehead is like a line, it just keeps going.
What do you say after making fun of a disabled person?
"Sorry, I didn't mean to step on your toes."
What does an Irish bowler put in his hands to guarantee a wicket next ball?
A bat.