Short jokes
Why can't you tell a joke in a corn maze?
Because there's too many ears.
What's worse than throwing a baby off a cliff?
Catching it with a pitchfork.
What do they call me when I jack off?
Pulled pork.
What do French ducks say?
Quoi quoi.
What is the difference between Sir Isaac Newton and the baby I just stabbed?
Sir Isaac Newton died a virgin.
What's the difference between Autism and Gender?
Autism is on a spectrum.
I would slap you, but that would be animal abuse.
What does Helen Keller say when she touches a basketball?
Duhhuuughhhr.
What store has the most vegetables?
A nursing home.
I complimented my neighbor's skeleton decoration for Halloween, but they just told me that it's their anorexic daughter.
I hope there is a lift to heaven. I shouldn’t be making jokes though.
What's a pedophile's favorite place to go in?
Kum and Go.
Right, I have a dog and his name is Syndrome, and whenever he is good, I go "Good Syndrome," but whenever he is naughty, I go "Down Syndrome."
What's the first thing you say in anal sex..... "Holy shit!"
What did the pimp order at the Chinese restaurant?
He ordered some cock-bang-ho.
What's worse than five babies stapled to one tree?
One baby stapled to five trees.
My girlfriend broke up with me because of my pasta fetish.
I'm feeling cannelloni right now.
What did mama cow say to baby cow? -- "It's pasture bedtime."
There was a blind man in WWE, and the commentator said, "Watch out! Watch... Oh, he can’t see." After he was sued for national offense.
I like my women like I like my coffee.
Without other people's dicks in it.