Short jokes
How do Chinese people name their children?
They throw pots and pans down the stairs and listen for the sounds, "Ching Chong Chang."
How do you get 30 drunk Canadians out of the pool?
"Please get out of the pool."
Why did you always see Michael Jackson wearing two white gloves?
Because masturbation is against Michael Jackson's religious beliefs.
Do you know where priests go at night?
To all night sale at Boys R Us.
*The doctor asking why I've broken 19 bones in the past week*
*My abusive mum- Go on, tell him!*
Well what am I gonna do now...
What do you call a fly without wings?
A walk.
What do you get when you cross a cold wind with a feather?
A brrrrrrrr-d!
Touch Down.
There was a recent football match between Ethiopia and Egypt.
Egypt 8, Ethiopia 0.
My dad is Al-Qaeda, and he even took a plane trip to New York in 2001.
I once asked a sketchy man at a bar for some relationship advice. He simply replied, "They're all dead hookers once they're in the trunk."
What's the difference between a penis and a gun?
A child doesn't cry when a gun goes off in its mouth.
What’s the only victimless crime you can commit? Murder, cause there’s a victim less!
I was driving through a neighborhood when I saw a sign that said "Autistic Child Zone." Then I thought to myself, "Oh shit, that wasn't a dog!"
You know you're ugly when you get handed the camera every time your friends have a group picture.
Here is a dark joke for you guys... "Why do pornstars scream, "DADDY!" in their videos? Because they were child molested by their father!"
Among Us players after saying "Self Report!" to the police officers who find a dead body in their basement.
Why did Susan drop her ice cream? She was hit by a bus.
A happy mother: "Why is your sister so quiet?! And how did you get super glue stuck on your penis?!"
If you drink hand sanitizer, does it only kill 99.9% of you?...........💀