Short jokes
How many time does it take to cook a baby in a microwave?
I don’t know, I can’t count while masturbating.
What do fire and people have in common?
They will both eventually die out.
The sun isn’t the only thing that rose up this morning...
What's similar between a fetus and a failed mission?
You abort it.
Only if onions were emo, they'd cut themselves.
What do you call a bunch of Aboriginals rolling down a hill?
Abo-lanche.
What does the cannibal eat who comes late for dinner?
The cold shoulder.
What’s bad about swinging a dead baby above your head?
Stopping it with the shovel!
I will never forget my Grandpa's last words: "What are you doing with that rope and saw?"
The other day my wife said, "Take me someplace I have never been before!" I said, "Why don't you try the kitchen?"
What do you call a skeleton with no bones? A boneless boy.
What was the knight's name that sat at the round table?
Circumference.
What was the Nazi racing tournament in 1943?
Gasar.
What do gay horses eat?
Hay.
What's the difference between Jesus and a painting of Jesus?
A painting only takes one nail to be hanged.
So Kobe Bryant walked into a bar, just kidding, he's dead and his fame went spiraling out of control.
Manly men go to strip clubs. JD Vance goes to IKEA.
What did Elon Musk do after sacking half of Twitter employees?
Raped an eight-year-old girl.
I’ve got a joke about Alzheimers.
Um.
Oh no. I can’t actually remember it.
Balls.