Short jokes
Today is Good Friday, so there will be no meat for us to eat. Instead, we have to do what lesbians do and eat fish.
What do you call an alligator that reads maps? Navigator.
What color would the confetti be at a baby shower in 2025?
Orange because they're having a they/them baby.
If a girl jumps off a cliff, some people call it suicide and some call it girl power, but I call it BULLSHIT.
Woman: Doctor, doctor, I've been raped.
Doctor: Sex is good for you!
What’s the name of OceanGate’s next submarine?
Judging by the breathing conditions on their subs, I bet they’ll call it the "George Floyd."
What do you call an autistic My Little Pony?
Twilight Special.
Why did the football player go to the bank?
To get his quarter back.
Boobs are like friends: you have big ones, small ones, real ones, fake ones, but they all get taken out by cancer.
What's the difference between a priest and McDonald's? They both stick their meat in 10-year-old buns.
What is blonde, has six legs, and roams Michael Jackson’s dreams every night?
Hanson.
#takemebacksophie
You can lead a horse to water, but a pencil must be lead.
I want a job cleaning mirrors. I could really see myself doing it!
Why did the elephant cross the road? It didn't see the cars.
My brother told me he wanted to find a golden apple tree in real life. I told him it was a fruitless mission.
I'm dead! 😂💀💀
Time to go to New York to visit the Twin Towers.
They’re already getting closer.
Why is every number scared of 7?
Because 7 "ate" 9.
I went to the store the other day and scanned an emo's arm.
It gave me a discount!