Short jokes
You're so skinny, your mom actually enjoyed your birth!
Straight men change their girlfriends like they change their undies. So, about once a month.
What do you call a female Michael Jackson? She she.
Knock knock, who's there? God.
God who? NO, you idiot, there is no God. I am your father and you have locked me out of my own house!
How did the man with a small penis become a rapist? His condom fell off.
Why was the Tower of Pisa leaning? Because it wanted to look up a 10 year old girlās skirt.
I feel sad because I went to an old man in a wheelchair while he was sitting next to a fire, and I screamed, "Hot Wheels!" š¤£
Sand under docks is very resilient. It doesnāt give in to pier pressure.
What is a tree's favorite thing to drink?
Root beer.
Me holding a new cat: Say hi to my little friend!
My friends: Hi to my little friend!
What is Jesus' favorite sport? CrossFit.
Your mouth looks like it came from the commercials.
What do you call a guy who has sex on the Moon?
An āAstronutā!
When Ariana Grande walked into the church, she said, "GOD IS A WOMAN!"
What do you do when you run out of lines on your book?
You look at the emo girl and say, "Hey, can I borrow your arm?"
On a scale of 1 to America, how free are you tonight?
What do you call a dwarf in a drawer?
Gay.
I got my blind friend a TV... He never uses it.
What's the difference between an orphan and a puppy?
Parents enjoy the presents of a puppy.
What does a condom and a coffin have in common?
They both still have stiffs, but one is coming and one is going.