Short jokes
What did Spock encounter in the Enterprise toilet?
The Captain's Log.
Why did the farmer eat a fork?
'Cause he's a dumbass.
You smell like tap water and cornflakes.
What is the definition of a woman?
A life support system for a vagina.
My depressed mom looks good hanging from a tree.
What do shemales and barns have in common?
Cocks.
What's the city with the fastest growing population?
Ireland, cuz it's Dublin everyday!
They finally made a movie about a clock, about time.
Have you heard about the corduroy pillow cases? They've been making headlines.
What did Sally get for Easter?..
Nail polish.
A student got a bad letter grade, so the next day he came back with his own letter grade in his backpack: an A-K47.
What did Sally say when she was stuck in the water with kelp?
"I need kelp! KELPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP"
Communism jokes aren't funny unless everyone gets it.
School is a lot like boot camp. The only difference is that you don't have to get deployed to get shot at.
Salman Rushdie got a new book out.
It's called "Buddha. You Fat Cunt."
Q: Why did Sally get beat up?
A: She couldn’t fight back.
What do you call a baby kangaroo? Joey.
What do you call a 6 year old named Joey? Supper.
Our teacher said for two kids to stare at a wall for no reason, so I said, "Hey wall, that ass flat like a pancake from McDonald's."
What is an astronaut's favorite part of a keyboard?
The SPACE BAR!
I love to play catch with my dad! He's never there to catch the ball, though.