Short jokes
For pedophiles, watching teen porn must be like watching mature porn.
What did the Indian cheese say to the other cheese?
"Tu cheese badi hai mast mast!"
What’s the worst thing about being a pedophile?
Fitting it in.
What do feminists and tampons have in common?
They're both stuck-up cunts.
An orphan girl's boyfriend broke up with her, what was his reason?
"If her parents didn't want her, why should I?"
Me: Hey, say I am ugly for a billion pounds.
Them: You're ugly.
Me: Sorry, I am not a mirror.
Today I ate out my girlfriend... Jeffrey Dahmer style.
What does the cannibal eat who comes late for dinner?
The cold shoulder.
Why can't Pooh Bear catch a date?
Because he is always talking about his honey.
A good bath is like a dead lover.
You can enjoy them, that is until they get too cold.
What looks like peanut butter and jelly, and makes a woman scream?
Afterbirth.
What do you call Stephen Hawking on his period?
Mario Kart.
Germany: As long as America stays out of the war, we should win.
Japan: *bombing Pearl Harbor* Cowabunga It Is!!
How many time does it take to cook a baby in a microwave?
I don’t know, I can’t count while masturbating.
What do fire and people have in common?
They will both eventually die out.
Why didn't anyone care about the circus?
Because it was irr-elephant.
What was Morgan Freeman called before the Civil War?
Morgan.
When it comes to recycling toilet paper, you really need to process the crap out of it.
What did Hitler tell the eye doctor?
“I can na-zi.”
What’s bad about swinging a dead baby above your head?
Stopping it with the shovel!