Short jokes
If they made a movie about your sex life, what would the title be?
Mine would be "Alien Vs. Predator."
What do Hitler and Trump have in common? They both do hand gestures.
Technoblade can defeat every Minecraft player, but he still can’t defeat cancer!
What does the receptionist at a sperm bank say as clients leave?
Thanks for coming!
Dear clothing websites, if it's out of stock, DO NOT ADVERTISE IT!
Foreplay in may areas: "You awake?"
Way down South: "You awake, mom?"
Like if you think oily men are hot.
What’s the difference between an emo kid and a dead pig?
Suicide squad.
It's okay, you had socks on :)
Who invented fractions?
Henry the 1/8.
Why are colds such bad robbers?
Because they're so easy to catch.
What's the motto for a pizza place that's also an abortion clinic: Your loss is our sauce.
When you think about it, Hitler wasn’t a bad person. He killed Hitler.
I had to share a table recently with a disabled man. When I asked him for the salt and pepper, he had to make two trips.
Your mom is so poor, she buys used food.
Where did the orphan go after the orphanage blew up everywhere?
What did Mars say to Saturn?
"Give me one of your rings!" 😄
My girlfriend has a huge crush on Jupiter, I mean she fell HARD!
My doctor called me a "psychopath." How dare he?!? He'll pay for this!
It’s me back at it again.
The earth was flat till they buried yo mama!!!