Football match jokes
How do you light up a football stadium? With a football match.
What burns up a football stadium?
A football match.
There was a recent football match between Ethiopia and Egypt.
Egypt 8, Ethiopia 0.
I was at a football match, and the ball was getting closer. Then it hit me. *face palm*
Fritzchen was supposed to remember three sentences. He asks his mother, "Mom, do you have any news?" The mother replies angrily, "Stop it!"
Fritzchen goes to see his father, who is watching a football match. When a goal is scored, he shouts, "That's it!"
Finally, he asks his sister, "Sister, do you have anything to say?" She is currently reading a story about a fool and says, "He is the dumbest person in the world!"
The next day at school, the teacher asks, "Fritzchen, did you learn the phrases?" Fritzchen replies, "Stop it!" The teacher is shocked: "Fritzchen! Don't say that to me. Go to the principal immediately!" Fritzchen shouts, "That's it!" Arriving at the principal's office, he asks, "Who do you think I am?" Fritzchen promptly replies, "He's the dumbest person in the world!"
I kicked a soccer ball at the kid in the wheelchair. Now we're playing Rocket League.
Once I went to watch a match in Portugal. It was between Penaldo and his kids. The referee was Georgiana (his wife). Mpaypal and Igayspeed were also there. The match began, and his kids scored two goals in the first 10 minutes. Then, when the match was about to end, Penaldo got angry and asked his wife for penalties. His wife declined, and he tortured and beat her up and took 10 penalties (missed 7 of them) but won 3-2. Shame on you, Penaldo! 😡😡😡
Why can't Indians play football? Because every time they take a corner, they make a shop.
On September 11th, 2001, the New York Giants lost against the Jets.
Why doesn’t Pakistan have any football teams?
Every corner they get, they open a shop on it!