Short jokes
Why can't Jesus eat M&Ms?
Because they keep falling through the holes in his hands.
What's the difference between Spongebob and a feminist?
A feminist has hair.
A priest, a pedo, and a rapist walk into a bar and that's just the first guy.
Arby's fast food and abortion clinic: Your dead babies are our taters and gravy.
What is a penguin without a pen? A guin...
John saw a Gay in a wheelchair.
"I didn't know a man could be a fruit and a Vegetable!"
What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas?
Cancer.
What do gay horses eat?
Hay.
What’s the difference between someone who is high on the spectrum [and] low on the spectrum? At least I can write this joke.
Cancer
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
"Sweet victory" fans: Fuck the NFL. They should be disbanded!
Harvey Weinstein: I raped five girls, and the NFL was one of them.
My cock, lmao.
What happens if an Asian walks into a wall with a boner?
They hit their nose on the wall.
What do you call someone with one arm and no legs?
Names.
Not all self-harmers are emo, but all emos self-harm.
Why don't Amish people water ski?
Because their horses would drown.
Where was Stephen Hawking during the house fire?
The top of the stairs.
How many times do you tickle an octopus to get it to laugh?
Ten-tickles!
What is the difference between Sir Isaac Newton and the baby I just stabbed?
Sir Isaac Newton died a virgin.
The "M" and "D" in "orphan" stands for Mom and Dad.