Short jokes
What did the Indian cheese say to the other cheese?
"Tu cheese badi hai mast mast!"
What was Morgan Freeman called before the Civil War?
Morgan.
What’s the worst thing about being a pedophile?
Fitting it in.
An orphan girl's boyfriend broke up with her, what was his reason?
"If her parents didn't want her, why should I?"
My friend asked me to round up here 37 sheep.
I said “40.”
Me: Hey, say I am ugly for a billion pounds.
Them: You're ugly.
Me: Sorry, I am not a mirror.
What do feminists and tampons have in common?
They're both stuck-up cunts.
Today I ate out my girlfriend... Jeffrey Dahmer style.
Yesterday we lost a quarter of our roof in the storm, oof.
What does a serial killer make for breakfast?
Scrambled legs and toes.
Yesterday, I tickled my granddaughter's feet.
She is being born in 2 months.
Bro, your toenails are bigger than your IQ.
When it comes to recycling toilet paper, you really need to process the crap out of it.
A good bath is like a dead lover.
You can enjoy them, that is until they get too cold.
What did Hitler tell the eye doctor?
“I can na-zi.”
What looks like peanut butter and jelly, and makes a woman scream?
Afterbirth.
What do you call Stephen Hawking on his period?
Mario Kart.
Germany: As long as America stays out of the war, we should win.
Japan: *bombing Pearl Harbor* Cowabunga It Is!!
Why can't Pooh Bear catch a date?
Because he is always talking about his honey.
Why didn't anyone care about the circus?
Because it was irr-elephant.