Short jokes
I like my bread how I like my wife: cold and stiff.
Joaquin Phoenix as The Joker is like Heath Ledger if he overdosed on prescription drugs... Oh, wait. He already did.
What is black and white, black and white, black and white and green?
Three zebras fighting over a pickle.
What was Stephen Hawking's name before he got his disease?
Stephen Walkins.
Sex sex sex free sex tonight, I mean 666-3629.
What’s red, blonde, and wet?
Saskia in grain.
Why did God create gay men? So fat girls could dance.
Why can't Cleopatra ride a bicycle?
Because she's dead.
How is being in the military like getting a blowjob?
The closer you get to discharge, the better you feel.
Why do women always have sex with the lights off?
Because they never like to see a man having a good time.
What's the difference between Jesus and a gay person?
One created the rainbow, the other one ruined it.
Why do hackers in Africa have hard times dealing with firewalls?
They don't have water.
What type of gun isn’t allowed in Africa?
A water gun.
Your mum so fat that when she sat down she said, "Why are there so many people under me?"
If you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
The second coming came and went. Jesus believed he was a Christian; therefore, he could never be himself.
Why do orphans hate Christmas?
Father Christmas isn’t a thing.
We used to be the tallest buildings in New York...
Then we took an Arab to the knee.
What does one boob say to the other boob?
If we don’t get support, people will think we’re nuts.
I don't know what to write here, just like...