Short jokes
I accidentally handed my wife a glue stick instead of a chapstick. She still isn't talking to me.
What is black, smells bad, and long? Line to social services.
What do you call an autistic My Little Pony?
Twilight Special.
What do you call an alligator that reads maps? Navigator.
Today is Good Friday, so there will be no meat for us to eat. Instead, we have to do what lesbians do and eat fish.
Roses are red, CEO's are white, Patrick Mahomes says, the refs are always right.
What is the difference between a nun and a prostitute?
One kneels to pray, one kneels to pay.
Roses are red, the Jews hate goys,
Union of Creepy Janitors (UCJ) opposes school choice.
What's the difference between a prostitute and a Democrat? A Democrat will keep screwing you when you run out of money.
What would Donald Trump be if he was Black?
Shot in the head.
What's the difference between a hoe and a prostitute?
One is a tool. The other is your mom.
Women have eggs and milk in them...
And they say that they don't belong in the kitchen.
Bitches be like, "Read the room."
What genre is that in?
Why don't you use a dull pencil?
Because there's no point. 😐😑😑
"You have your entire life to be an idiot. Why not take today off?"
There's a saying that goes, "Only gay men know how to dress." Of course they know how to dress! They were in the closet!
How does a blind person know they've wiped their ass enough?
I was confused when they asked me, "Do you know how to fly a plane?" Then, when I said, "No," they said, "Perfect!"
Boobs are like friends: you have big ones, small ones, real ones, fake ones, but they all get taken out by cancer.
What's the difference between a priest and McDonald's? They both stick their meat in 10-year-old buns.