Short jokes
On a scale of 1 to America, how free are you tonight?
Kid to daddy: "Why do they call it Uranus?"
Daddy to kid: "Cause, son, it's Uranus."
What's the most expensive haircut?
Chemotherapy.
What do you call a dwarf in a drawer?
Gay.
What is Jesus' favorite sport? CrossFit.
Your mouth looks like it came from the commercials.
Your mama is so ugly even Dora can't explore her.
Hey, y'all, I just wanna say thanks to Gwen on here. She writes jokes, and she got me through a lot xx.
Why did the Mexican take Xanax?
For Hispanic attacks.
What is the difference between cum and milk? Nothing. They are both white and tasty.
Mother got shot, damn.
Father got shot, damn.
Sister got shot, damn.
Brother got shot, damn.
Auntie running away with a shotgun!
When Ariana Grande walked into the church, she said, "GOD IS A WOMAN!"
What do you do when you run out of lines on your book?
You look at the emo girl and say, "Hey, can I borrow your arm?"
Riddle me this. Riddle me that.
Why did my parents never come back?
What did the toilet say to the other toilet?
"You look flushed."
Why is a pro fighter like a fisher?
They both can throw a hook.
Me at the Anti-Orphan Jokes convention. 💣🗡🔪🧨🔫
An orphan walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Buddy, you have to go home." The orphan replies, "Where is home?"
This isn't a joke; I just want to spread awareness of anatidaephobia.
I didn't trip and fall... I attacked the floor, and I believe I am winning :3