Short jokes

Roses are red. Violets are blue. Sugar is sweet. And your mom is, too.

People said that we needed to follow in Kobe's footsteps, but there are none.

Q: Why are gay people never late for their flight?

A: They get their shit packed the night before.

How do you get a clown off your swing?

You shoot it.

Do you know who didn't graduate high school this year?

The Parkland kids.

*School shooting happens*

Foreign exchange student: *Sobbing under desk*

American student: "First time?"

This person has Down syndrome.

Fell Sans: Welp, you're BONED!

Fell Papyrus: DAMN YOU SANS!!!

What kind of jeans do you wear to church?

Holy jeans!

What's black and has wheels? Black wheels.

What's good about 9/11? It helped solve the world's overpopulation issue.

Being incest isn't that bad. I was fingering my sister, and I found my dad's old wedding ring. Winner winner!

I give props to pedophiles.

They always go slow in the school zones.

What did Michael Jackson find on his bed?

Billie's Jeans.

What did they call Susan B. Anthony when she was sleeping on the job?

Snoozin' B. Anthony!

Why'd Sally drop her ice cream?

She was hit by a bus.

Why can't America play chess?

They're missing two towers.

A gay guy asked me for directions, so I told him to go straight.

Gun control...

Man, don't you hate it when you hit a speed bump by an orphanage but then realize there's no speed bumps here...