Short jokes
Anyone who says they don't like cats has never had one cooked right...
American: How do you use a PC?
Amish: We use a potato.
What's worse than throwing a baby off a cliff?
Catching it with a pitchfork.
There was a guy how had a stroke, eh.
He's all right.
Why do leaves change color in the fall?
Because they want to leaf their old color.
Why can't you tell a joke in a corn maze?
Because there's too many ears.
What do they call me when I jack off?
Pulled pork.
What did one poop say to the other poop? What's the matter? You look flushed!
Patient: “Doctor, I get heartburn every time I eat birthday cake.”
Doctor: “Next time, take off the candles.”
Donald Trump and Fanta both have some things in common.
They are both orange and were conceived from Nazis!
What do penguins 🐧 eat for lunch?
Freeze burgers.
What did Michael Jackson say when he became a triangle? Tetraheehee!
Q: What does Pakistan love to do with India when they go to war?
A: Surrender their 93,000 soldiers.
I would slap you, but that would be animal abuse.
What does Helen Keller say when she touches a basketball?
Duhhuuughhhr.
I hope there is a lift to heaven. I shouldn’t be making jokes though.
What store has the most vegetables?
A nursing home.
Your clown is so stupid it took a spoon to the Super Bowl.
I complimented my neighbor's skeleton decoration for Halloween, but they just told me that it's their anorexic daughter.
A Muslim enters a building...
Along with 500 passengers and an airplane.