How do you get a squirrel down from a tree?
You pull down your pants and show it your nuts.
Short Jokes
Yeah, I’m LGBTQ.
LETS GO BULLY THE QUEERS!
Hey, watch me eat this African sandwich.
*Takes huge bite of air.*
Feminism.
Your momma so fat, when she stepped on the weighing scales, her phone number came up!
2 + 2 is 4, minus one, that's 3. Quick maths.
What is the most sensitive part of a man's anatomy while he's masturbating?
His ears.
How do you make a baby cry?
You run over it with a lawn mower.
Did Jesus die a virgin?
Of course not, he got nailed before he died!
You guys asked for a joke? Well, you're in luck, because you already are one!
What do you call an octopus with a hat?
An octopus with a hat, of course.
Why did my boyfriend leave me?
Because he's gay.
But why did he come back to me?
Because I'm actually a guy :-)
Q: Why didn’t Santa eat the milk and cookies you set out for him?
A: He doesn’t exist, you childish sh**!
Why didn't the kid cancer patients like his joke?
He said, "You'll understand when you get older!"
What's the definition of total chaos?
A bus load of retards passing a magnet factory.
How can Canada be one of the most educated countries when Canadians are unable to correctly spell "analyse", "programme", and "aluminium"?
You're so poor that when you walked into an elevator, you thought it was a mobile home.
School would be a lot different if the quiet kid had an RPG.
I lit a retirement home on fire so that all the seniors can be cremated for free.
What is the difference between me and a fire?
It's hot.
