Short jokes
Mom: Kid, bring your toys and clothing to the car. We're going to Disney Land.
Kid: Ok.
*Bring kid to the orphanage*.
If aliens were real,
then orphans would finally have a home.
What is Jesus' favorite sport? CrossFit.
Your mouth looks like it came from the commercials.
Have you ever heard of emo pizza?
It cuts itself!
Mother got shot, damn.
Father got shot, damn.
Sister got shot, damn.
Brother got shot, damn.
Auntie running away with a shotgun!
Kid to daddy: "Why do they call it Uranus?"
Daddy to kid: "Cause, son, it's Uranus."
Your forehead built like Darkseid from DC.
What do you call a dino stripper?
A dinohore.
Your mama is so ugly even Dora can't explore her.
An orphan walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Buddy, you have to go home." The orphan replies, "Where is home?"
What is a cannibal's favorite drink?
Coffee.
What do you call a lesbian alien? A "lesbeening."
What do you call a guy who has sex on the Moon?
An “Astronut”!
What did the screw say to the screw? We sure screwed things up!
Why did the Mexican take Xanax?
For Hispanic attacks.
What is the difference between cum and milk? Nothing. They are both white and tasty.
Riddle me this. Riddle me that.
Why did my parents never come back?
Why is Santa always a b*tch, calling people names like, "Hoe, hoe, hoe?"
What did the toilet say to the other toilet?
"You look flushed."