Short jokes
I'm autistic, and I find these so funny.
How do you fix a broken pizza? With tomato paste.
What was Jesus' reaction when the first black person was born?
"Holy shit, I burnt one."
How do you get a million fans?
Just run through Africa with a bottle of water.
I live in China and we have no food. We have to eat Chinese food, so I called my dog over.
My mum told me to take out the trash, but I couldn’t find you.
What sort of movies do cows like to watch?
Moosicals!
What's the only good part of your crush dying before you have the chance to bang her?
She can't say no!
My uncle was a priest.
He had a two-inch penis, but when it was in my ass, it felt like a torpedo.
"Just killed a woman, feeling good."
- Tommyinnit
Why do orphans like emos?
Reverse "emo" and put an "h" in the beginning.
Why is Mrs. Grapes 🍇 a good mother?
Because she loves raisin' kids.
Why was Stephen Hawking always bullied?
Because he couldn’t stand up for himself.
Why did the orphan cross the street? Because they thought that mommy and daddy was on the other side.
How are a mouse and a bale of hay alike?
The cat'll eat it (the cattle eat it).
What was Stephen Hawking's mother's name?
Ilean.
My doctor told me it was perfectly normal to become aroused or even ejaculate during a prostate exam.
That being said I wish he hadn't!
Why did Sally fall off the swing?
Because someone booted her in the face. 🤣🤣
It isn't a real charity until India opens call centers, like they did with Africa.
What's better than 5 babies in one dumpster?
1 baby in 5 dumpsters.