Short jokes
No one wanted to hear my ocean puns, they said they were too fishy.
This isn't a joke; I just want to spread awareness of anatidaephobia.
I didn't trip and fall... I attacked the floor, and I believe I am winning :3
Why didn’t the girl like stairs?
They were always up to something.
What's the difference between Mark Zuckerberg and a lizard?
There is no difference.
I accidentally handed my wife a glue stick instead of a chapstick. She still isn't talking to me.
When I was in middle school, I was kidnapped by a terrorist organization.
Al-gebra.
Are suicide bombers taught properly how to fly, or...
Are they just given a quick crash course?
What’s positive in Africa?
HIV/AIDS.
Today is Good Friday, so there will be no meat for us to eat. Instead, we have to do what lesbians do and eat fish.
What do you call an alligator that reads maps? Navigator.
What color would the confetti be at a baby shower in 2025?
Orange because they're having a they/them baby.
If a girl jumps off a cliff, some people call it suicide and some call it girl power, but I call it BULLSHIT.
Woman: Doctor, doctor, I've been raped.
Doctor: Sex is good for you!
What’s the name of OceanGate’s next submarine?
Judging by the breathing conditions on their subs, I bet they’ll call it the "George Floyd."
What do you call an autistic My Little Pony?
Twilight Special.
Why did the football player go to the bank?
To get his quarter back.
Boobs are like friends: you have big ones, small ones, real ones, fake ones, but they all get taken out by cancer.
What's the difference between a priest and McDonald's? They both stick their meat in 10-year-old buns.
What is blonde, has six legs, and roams Michael Jackson’s dreams every night?
Hanson.