Short jokes
If you drink hand sanitizer, does it only kill 99.9% of you?...........💀
Why did the koala climb the tree?
To get to the other branch. :)
He made it, don't worry!
What do you call it when a lizard can’t get a boner?
Ereptile Dysfunction!
I accidentally bumped into a midget yesterday.
Me: "Are you ok sir?"
Midget: "Well, I'm not happy."
Me: "Well, which one are ya?"
A new burger has been invented in memory of Stephen Hawking.
I doubt it will sell though, as it's 95% cabbage.
You can easily outrun a midget because they have to run twice as much as you do.
What has fingernails and legs made of grass? You, I lied about the grass.
Like this post if you think pineapple belongs on pizza.
When Chinese babies are born, they should put "MADE FROM CHINA."
What do a "transgender" woman's favorite song and his/her last online order have in common?
~they're both a dick in a box.
What do you call a Mexican midget?
A paragraph, because he's not a full essay.
When you see a deer, what do you say?
"Oh deer!"
For pedophiles, watching teen porn must be like watching mature porn.
What did the Indian cheese say to the other cheese?
"Tu cheese badi hai mast mast!"
What was Morgan Freeman called before the Civil War?
Morgan.
Why didn't anyone care about the circus?
Because it was irr-elephant.
What do feminists and tampons have in common?
They're both stuck-up cunts.
What’s the worst thing about being a pedophile?
Fitting it in.
Me: Hey, say I am ugly for a billion pounds.
Them: You're ugly.
Me: Sorry, I am not a mirror.
Today I ate out my girlfriend... Jeffrey Dahmer style.