Short jokes
When it comes to recycling toilet paper, you really need to process the crap out of it.
What does the cannibal eat who comes late for dinner?
The cold shoulder.
What was the knight's name that sat at the round table?
Circumference.
What do you call it when you get away with masturbating in the shower?
You got off clean.
Why can't Pooh Bear catch a date?
Because he is always talking about his honey.
What was the Nazi racing tournament in 1943?
Gasar.
What do you call a skeleton with no bones? A boneless boy.
Today I ate out my girlfriend... Jeffrey Dahmer style.
Me: Hey, say I am ugly for a billion pounds.
Them: You're ugly.
Me: Sorry, I am not a mirror.
What do feminists and tampons have in common?
They're both stuck-up cunts.
You have more chin than brain cells!
What’s the worst thing about being a pedophile?
Fitting it in.
I need to fuck an emo girl... those bitches are limited edition!
What do you call a group of black people?
A hoodie.
Only if onions were emo, they'd cut themselves.
What do fire and people have in common?
They will both eventually die out.
How many time does it take to cook a baby in a microwave?
I don’t know, I can’t count while masturbating.
Yesterday, I tickled my granddaughter's feet.
She is being born in 2 months.
The sun isn’t the only thing that rose up this morning...
Yesterday we lost a quarter of our roof in the storm, oof.