Short jokes
So, no head?
What time is it when a nurse's here?
It's nurse-thirty.
Why do penguins carry fish in their beaks?
Because they don’t have pockets. I’m
What’s pink, rusty, and covered in cobwebs?
Madeline McCann's bike.
Papyrus: Sans, stop being a lazy Bones.
Sans: Why bro, guess you don't have the back bone to do anything, heheh.
Son: Hey Dad, can I play Fortnite?
Dad: I don't know, do you want a girlfriend?
Why did the cloud apply to stormtrooper training school?
He mist.
Why are wives also called a housekeeper?
Because after the divorce, they keep the house.
Why do they never serve beer at a math party?
Because you can't drink and derive.
God, people are so sensitive these days. You can't even say, "Paint the wall black," you have to say, "Jamal, could you paint the wall?"
What do a gay man and a tumbleweed have in common?
They blow and blow until they wind up on a fence in Wyoming.
Why do orphans play GTA?
To be wanted.
Why do orphanages give out free phones?
So you can press the home button.
What do you call a fat person in a wheelchair?
A broken wheelchair.
Did you hear about Alicia's car accident?
She was really drunk and all over the road until she was all over the road.
A leaf and an emo are both falling from a tree.
Which one hits the ground first?
The leaf, the emo got caught by a rope.
What borders on stupidity?
Canada and Mexico.
So, I met Michael Jackson before he died. He dragged me to his bed.
What do you do when you're sad? Kick an orphan!
What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
What do you call a virgin kid locked in a room with a pedophile? Past tense.
My black friend turned off the lights and suddenly disappeared.