Short jokes
There are 5 cats on a boat, and 1 jumps off. How many are left?
Zero, they were copycats.
What does a girl want more than anything in the world?
Nothing. She's fine.
What was Stephen Hawking's name before he got his disease?
Stephen Walkins.
Sex sex sex free sex tonight, I mean 666-3629.
What’s red, blonde, and wet?
Saskia in grain.
What is a duck's favorite thing to smoke?
Quack.
Ali-A
I like my bread how I like my wife: cold and stiff.
What is black and white, black and white, black and white and green?
Three zebras fighting over a pickle.
If you shit in a church, is it a holy shit?
Elsa got a boyfriend, and the boyfriend wanted to try anal.
She wasn't too keen, but she just lay back and shouted "INTO THE UNKNOWN!"
Why did God create gay men? So fat girls could dance.
What do you call Miles Morales Spider-Man from Europe?
Kilometers Morales.
What makes a cult and a racist family of 5 common?
Not all are friends.
I would roast you, but I'm not supposed to burn trash.
When the quiet kid lost a game of basketball and reaches into his bag,
other people in the gym: "Oh shit this nigga bout to shoot."
Good night, sleep tight, don't let the bedbugs bite, and if they do, hit them with a shoe till they're all black and blue!
What is a cannibal's favorite drink?
Coffee.
What do you call a lesbian alien? A "lesbeening."
What do you call a guy who has sex on the Moon?
An “Astronut”!