Short jokes
I kidnapped an orphan. What are they going to do? Cry for mom?
Which planet would I consider dating?
I don’t know, but not Saturn because she’s already got a ring on her.
I’d like to be a One Direction poster because I want to be nailed to the wall by a teenage girl ;)
What do my little brother and a vagina have in common?
They both ooze blood 🩸 when punched.
Did you hear that Michael Jackson changed his name from Michael Smith? Well, at least he's honest.
What's the difference between dementia and a strawberry?
I don't know. I forgot.
What's yellow and can’t swim?
Your dead fish.
What's the difference between my girlfriend and my sister?
There is no difference.
What did the flower say to the crazy peanut?
"Ur going nuts boii, get back on yo' plant. Ur too nuts for me."
A new burger has been invented in memory of Stephen Hawking.
I doubt it will sell though, as it's 95% cabbage.
I accidentally bumped into a midget yesterday.
Me: "Are you ok sir?"
Midget: "Well, I'm not happy."
Me: "Well, which one are ya?"
What do you call it when a lizard can’t get a boner?
Ereptile Dysfunction!
Why did the koala climb the tree?
To get to the other branch. :)
He made it, don't worry!
You can easily outrun a midget because they have to run twice as much as you do.
What has fingernails and legs made of grass? You, I lied about the grass.
When Chinese babies are born, they should put "MADE FROM CHINA."
Like this post if you think pineapple belongs on pizza.
What do you call a Mexican midget?
A paragraph, because he's not a full essay.
When you see a deer, what do you say?
"Oh deer!"
For pedophiles, watching teen porn must be like watching mature porn.