What to gift a child molester who already has everything? A bigger county with more believers.
Short Jokes
Did you know that the Royal family like carnivals?
Princess Diana was really fond of bumper cars.
What's similar between a fetus and a failed mission?
You abort it.
What is the difference between the Titanic and the Twin Towers?
They both went down.
Who is king of the insects?
The Monarch.
Where do you take Stephen Hawking when he dies?
The Apple repair store.
I tried a pun about water, but people "sea" right through it, and when people complain, they are usually just being a beach.
What do orphans need in order to mail letters?
Food stamps.
Spell "IOUT", no space.
Germany: As long as America stays out of the war, we should win.
Japan: *bombing Pearl Harbor* Cowabunga It Is!!
Why is 3 such a helpful number? Because 3 helped out on a science project 4 5!
I'm so lonely, even the alphabet says "Hi."
JK.
I wonder if Stephen Hawking heard the song "Gangster's Paradise." Oh, shit, he can't!
Why did the chipmunk swim on its back?
To keep its nuts dry.
What looks like peanut butter and jelly, and makes a woman scream?
Afterbirth.
What’s one thing that a gay person is scared of?
A gay guy that’s straight!
A Mexican magician says he will disappear on the count of three. He says, "uno, dos..." and poof! He disappears without a tres.
A man went to a Ford dealership hoping to find a car, but he said they weren't affordable.
I tried to think of how lighting works.
Then it struck me!
What’s the difference between a tire and three-hundred-sixty-five used condoms?
One’s a good year; the other’s a great year!
