Short jokes
What is the difference between cum and milk? Nothing. They are both white and tasty.
What do you call a dwarf in a drawer?
Gay.
Your mouth looks like it came from the commercials.
Have you ever heard of emo pizza?
It cuts itself!
An orphan walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Buddy, you have to go home." The orphan replies, "Where is home?"
What do you call a lesbian alien? A "lesbeening."
What do you call a dino stripper?
A dinohore.
Me at the Anti-Orphan Jokes convention. 💣🗡🔪🧨🔫
Good night, sleep tight, don't let the bedbugs bite, and if they do, hit them with a shoe till they're all black and blue!
What is a cannibal's favorite drink?
Coffee.
Mother got shot, damn.
Father got shot, damn.
Sister got shot, damn.
Brother got shot, damn.
Auntie running away with a shotgun!
Kid to daddy: "Why do they call it Uranus?"
Daddy to kid: "Cause, son, it's Uranus."
What's the most expensive haircut?
Chemotherapy.
I bought a Dalek egg timer recently...
After a few minutes, it shouts, "Eggs terminate!"
When your mom says, "Go to bed," but you reply with, "But Mom, I need help because it is inside, but we are outside."
What do you call someone who is extra virgin?
Mrs. Frame.
Where do ducks poop out of?
From their buttquack.
Why did the skeleton not listen to the rules?
He was "bone tiba wild."
Knock knock.
"Cow goes."
No, silly, cows go moo!
Why didn't they just switch him on and off again, or switch his batteries?