Short jokes
Bro, your toenails are bigger than your IQ.
What do you call a bunch of Aboriginals rolling down a hill?
Abo-lanche.
What do you call Stephen Hawking on his period?
Mario Kart.
Statistically, 1 in 10 people live next door to a pedophile. But not me, I live next to a 10-year-old boy with a fat ass.
My friend asked me to round up here 37 sheep.
I said “40.”
What was Morgan Freeman called before the Civil War?
Morgan.
What's similar between a fetus and a failed mission?
You abort it.
Potato.
For pedophiles, watching teen porn must be like watching mature porn.
What's the difference between Jesus and a painting of Jesus?
A painting only takes one nail to be hanged.
So Kobe Bryant walked into a bar, just kidding, he's dead and his fame went spiraling out of control.
Manly men go to strip clubs. JD Vance goes to IKEA.
Q: Why did Sally survive the car accident?
A: She hit an ambulance.
Why did Jerry fall off the moon?
Because he got hit by a fridge.
My brother finally got his driver's license, so he took our new car out for a spin.
At least now I can have his phone he left.
I'll never forget my boss's last words: "We shall serve the best meat in our burgers!"
What do you call a girl skeleton dancing?
A bone-étit.
What did Elon Musk do after sacking half of Twitter employees?
Raped an eight-year-old girl.
I’ve got a joke about Alzheimers.
Um.
Oh no. I can’t actually remember it.
No scope, bitch!