Short jokes
What do you call a group of black people?
A hoodie.
The sun isn’t the only thing that rose up this morning...
What's similar between a fetus and a failed mission?
You abort it.
Yesterday, I tickled my granddaughter's feet.
She is being born in 2 months.
Bro, your toenails are bigger than your IQ.
Yesterday we lost a quarter of our roof in the storm, oof.
What does a serial killer make for breakfast?
Scrambled legs and toes.
A good bath is like a dead lover.
You can enjoy them, that is until they get too cold.
What was the Nazi racing tournament in 1943?
Gasar.
What does the cannibal eat who comes late for dinner?
The cold shoulder.
Why can't Pooh Bear catch a date?
Because he is always talking about his honey.
What do you call a bunch of Aboriginals rolling down a hill?
Abo-lanche.
What did Hitler tell the eye doctor?
“I can na-zi.”
What do you call a skeleton with no bones? A boneless boy.
What’s bad about swinging a dead baby above your head?
Stopping it with the shovel!
What do you call Stephen Hawking on his period?
Mario Kart.
Germany: As long as America stays out of the war, we should win.
Japan: *bombing Pearl Harbor* Cowabunga It Is!!
Statistically, 1 in 10 people live next door to a pedophile. But not me, I live next to a 10-year-old boy with a fat ass.
What do fire and people have in common?
They will both eventually die out.
How many time does it take to cook a baby in a microwave?
I don’t know, I can’t count while masturbating.