Short jokes
#takemebacksophie
You can lead a horse to water, but a pencil must be lead.
I want a job cleaning mirrors. I could really see myself doing it!
Why did the elephant cross the road? It didn't see the cars.
My brother told me he wanted to find a golden apple tree in real life. I told him it was a fruitless mission.
I'm dead! 😂💀💀
Time to go to New York to visit the Twin Towers.
They’re already getting closer.
Why is every number scared of 7?
Because 7 "ate" 9.
I went to the store the other day and scanned an emo's arm.
It gave me a discount!
You're so skinny, your mom actually enjoyed your birth!
Straight men change their girlfriends like they change their undies. So, about once a month.
What do you call a female Michael Jackson? She she.
Guy: Michael Jackson wasn’t in ancient times!
Me: hee hee egypt.
What’s the difference between a bank vault and you aunt's anus?
The owner of bank vaults don’t force you to penetrate it.
Knock knock, who's there? God.
God who? NO, you idiot, there is no God. I am your father and you have locked me out of my own house!
How did the man with a small penis become a rapist? His condom fell off.
Why was the Tower of Pisa leaning? Because it wanted to look up a 10 year old girl’s skirt.
I feel sad because I went to an old man in a wheelchair while he was sitting next to a fire, and I screamed, "Hot Wheels!" 🤣
Why are lesbians so bad at math? They can't multiply.
Sand under docks is very resilient. It doesn’t give in to pier pressure.