Short jokes
How do Chinese people name their children?
They throw pots and pans down the stairs and listen for the sounds, "Ching Chong Chang."
My dad is Al-Qaeda, and he even took a plane trip to New York in 2001.
Do you know where priests go at night?
To all night sale at Boys R Us.
Why did you always see Michael Jackson wearing two white gloves?
Because masturbation is against Michael Jackson's religious beliefs.
I once asked a sketchy man at a bar for some relationship advice. He simply replied, "They're all dead hookers once they're in the trunk."
How do you get 30 drunk Canadians out of the pool?
"Please get out of the pool."
Why do programmers always mix up Halloween and Christmas?
Because Oct 31 == Dec 25.
There was a recent football match between Ethiopia and Egypt.
Egypt 8, Ethiopia 0.
What do you call a fly without wings?
A walk.
What do you get when you cross a cold wind with a feather?
A brrrrrrrr-d!
Touch Down.
*The doctor asking why I've broken 19 bones in the past week*
*My abusive mum- Go on, tell him!*
Well what am I gonna do now...
What's the difference between a penis and a gun?
A child doesn't cry when a gun goes off in its mouth.
I was driving through a neighborhood when I saw a sign that said "Autistic Child Zone." Then I thought to myself, "Oh shit, that wasn't a dog!"
You know you're ugly when you get handed the camera every time your friends have a group picture.
What’s the only victimless crime you can commit? Murder, cause there’s a victim less!
Here is a dark joke for you guys... "Why do pornstars scream, "DADDY!" in their videos? Because they were child molested by their father!"
Among Us players after saying "Self Report!" to the police officers who find a dead body in their basement.
Why did Susan drop her ice cream? She was hit by a bus.
A happy mother: "Why is your sister so quiet?! And how did you get super glue stuck on your penis?!"