Short jokes
A person laughs every day.
"Man," they say, "I'm glad I'm not an egg, otherwise I'd just CRACK MYseLf uP!"
Junkyard dogs may be mean, but the meanest dogs are the ones guarding concentration camps.
I went to a restaurant that serves "breakfast any time," so I ordered French toast during the Renaissance.
— Steven Wright
Some dude called me a tool.
So later I got hammered and nailed his girlfriend.
Guess he was right :/
What do ya call a legless prostitute in a strawberry field?
A jammy cunt.
What does a Mexican not like in their drink? Ice.
Me and my girlfriend broke up, so I took her wheelchair, and she came crawling back.
Will you remember me in 7 years?
(Yes)
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
How are rape and an airplane similar?
The ride gets more annoying when the kid starts screaming.
What do you call a fat person in a wheelchair?
A broken wheelchair.
Why doesn’t the sun ☀️ go to college?
Because it has a million degrees.
How can you tell if your sister is on her period?
Your father's dick tastes funny.
What's India's favorite font?
Comic Sanskrit.
What did the leper say to the prostitute?
Keep the tip.
I raped a disabled child.
I think she's too far gone to repair now.
Mfs be saying Kobe is good at basketball cause he is 6 feet, ye 6 feet underground.
If you take a shot, a paper wad, in the trashcan, and call "Kobe!" but miss, it's still a Kobe.
Q: What do you do if you bump into a koala?
A: You koalagize to it.
Me: Opens the window to get some fresh air.
Everyone else on the plane: 😟...😱
How many ears does Captain Picard have?
Three: A left ear, a right ear, and a final front-ear.