Short jokes
My dad was a roof cleaner and I'm dedicating this to him, so dad, if you're up there!
I'm a big fan of white boards; they're remarkable.
I will always remember the last noise I hear in my school, "oogga booga motherf***ers," click, boom!
Yo mama so fat, when she joined Team 10...
It became TEAM, 10, TONS!
"Immobile" means "I'm mobile" in my books.
I'll never forget my mother's last words: "What are you doing with that sledgehammer?"
Where did Sally go during the bombing? Everywhere.
Your mama is so fat that when she was playing online, she crashed the whole server.
Why are you so bonely, my friend? I am at least glad that you are not boneless.
What do you get when you cross a highway on a bike?
Run over.
How can you tell if Google is a girl?
It makes suggestions before you finish your sentence!
I told my girlfriend she drew her eyebrows too high. She seemed surprised.
When does it rain money?
When there's a change in the weather.
How can you tell an anti-vaccine kid?
It's only got 10 hours to live.
An assassin threatens a planet.
The planet remains calm.
The assassin: "Do you not realize the gravity of this situation?"
Will you remember me in 7 years?
(Yes)
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Q: Why did the fault line start acting crazy?
A: Because it was on crack.
All dumbs aren't blonde.
How did you get Sally into a blender?
- Without much resistance.
How do you get Sally out of a blender?
- Tortilla chips.
What did the orphan say to his father?
Nothing, he doesn't have one.
My crush said that she would rather die than have sex with me... It turns out that she was lying.