Short jokes
What's the difference between Mark Zuckerberg and a lizard?
There is no difference.
Why did Sally fail her final exam?
Because she had nothing written down.
This isn't a joke; I just want to spread awareness of anatidaephobia.
God, I miss Stephen Hawking.
He was brainier than Kurt Cobain's ceiling.
Why is my dick like a balloon?
The more you blow it, the bigger it gets.
What's the difference between a gun and my will to live? None, they are both absent.
Biggest joke?
[Image of Zac Efron]
What is a tree's favorite thing to drink?
Root beer.
Being bullied by an artist? Want them to leave you alone?
www.VincentVanGoghAway.com
- What did the skeleton say to his friend?
- Actually... TIBIA honest, I don't know how to complete this joke...
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Owl say.
Owl say who?
Yes, they do.
Is it weird that a milk carton has a date, and I don’t?
You are American when you walk to the bathroom. What are you when you are in there?
You're-a-peein'. European.
Are you a volcano? Because you're hot and I really lava you!
Why can't vampires tell jokes right? All their jokes just SUCK.
What was Beethoven's favorite insect?
The bee! :0
What soda do dogs drink? Pupsi.
You can lead a horse to water, but a pencil must be lead.
Why did the stoner cross the road?
He got so wasted, he thought he was a chicken.
A baby seal walks into a club...