Short jokes
A new burger has been invented in memory of Stephen Hawking.
I doubt it will sell though, as it's 95% cabbage.
What do you call it when a lizard can’t get a boner?
Ereptile Dysfunction!
Why did the koala climb the tree?
To get to the other branch. :)
He made it, don't worry!
I accidentally bumped into a midget yesterday.
Me: "Are you ok sir?"
Midget: "Well, I'm not happy."
Me: "Well, which one are ya?"
Why are school shooting jokes so funny?
Answer: The bullets hit your funny bone!
You can easily outrun a midget because they have to run twice as much as you do.
What has fingernails and legs made of grass? You, I lied about the grass.
How do you start a dance party?
Go into the PTSD ward of an insane asylum and set off fireworks and watch the magic unfold.
When Chinese babies are born, they should put "MADE FROM CHINA."
Like this post if you think pineapple belongs on pizza.
What do a "transgender" woman's favorite song and his/her last online order have in common?
~they're both a dick in a box.
What do you call a Mexican midget?
A paragraph, because he's not a full essay.
When you see a deer, what do you say?
"Oh deer!"
What did the Indian cheese say to the other cheese?
"Tu cheese badi hai mast mast!"
Why didn't anyone care about the circus?
Because it was irr-elephant.
A good bath is like a dead lover.
You can enjoy them, that is until they get too cold.
The other day my wife said, "Take me someplace I have never been before!" I said, "Why don't you try the kitchen?"
What did Hitler tell the eye doctor?
“I can na-zi.”
What’s bad about swinging a dead baby above your head?
Stopping it with the shovel!
I will never forget my Grandpa's last words: "What are you doing with that rope and saw?"