Short jokes
I have had an obsession with soap. Don’t worry, I am all clean now!
Why did Rolf Harris meet underage kids?
To tie his kangaroo down, sport!
When you’re trying to attract a partner, it’s important to project the qualities you desire. Shit, have I had to suck a lot of cock lately!?
Why did the skunk cross the road?
To get to the odor side!
Wanna ride a reindeer for Christmas? *rubs my antlers on you*
You’re a grey sprinkle on a rainbow cupcake.
You are more disappointing than an unsalted pretzel.
Teacher: Why do people snore?
Me: Because they sleep.
Why was the short person a coward? They didn't stand up to challenges.
Beneath this monumental stone Lise, 80 pounds of skin and bone.
Going to church, you don't think you are Christian.
Sleeping with ten men, you don't think you are straight.
What happens to a baby when you let it run loose? It can't cause it can't run yet.
I like rocks, specifically Jeon Jungkook's rock hard abs. 😉🤭🤣
Fat people should expect big things when they take their shirt off.
What’s the difference between a barcode and Rachel Sutherland’s wrist?
Nothing, they both get scanned for a fresh new pack of razor blades.
Never hide something behind a bookshelf. It's the oldest trick in the book!
Why are Democrats represented by the donkey? Because some Democrats can be such an ass!
Tell your teacher this: "I passed a test that took 60 minutes. It wasn't your work, it wasn't my work, it was hour work!"
Do you know where time is? Because it keeps flying by.
Why is it called a building if it's already built?
Two scientists walk into a bar. The first one says, "Can I have a drink of H2O?" Then the second says, "Can I have a drink of H2O2?" and he dies.