Short jokes
How did the digital clock show off to its mother?
Look, Ma, no hands!
What do alien moms like to drink? Starbucks.
Communism is actually kinda tight.
What do you call a fudge packer who has special needs?
A gay black male that has Down Syndrome.
I can always tell if someone is lying just by looking at them.
I can also tell if they are standing.
People should build orphanages next to graveyards so at least orphans can see their parents.
Time waits for no man, time is obviously a woman.
Friend: Why do you like Minecraft so much?
Me: Because I love miners!
What do your girlfriend and a pool have in common? They both cost a lot of money for the amount of time you’re inside them.
Everyone tells me I need to stop making prostitute jokes.
I guess they're whore-ible.
My girlfriend left a note on the TV saying, "This isn't working!" I don't know what she's talking about, the TV works perfectly fine.
My arm has a different texture than the rest of me, lol.
Do you work at Subway? Because you turn my 6 inch into a footlong.
My uncle hid my weed, so I hid his wheelchair.
What do you call a blank piece of paper?
Women's rights.
What has 2 legs and loves to play with little kids? The local priest.
How did the pornstar cut herself while using a drill?
She was too used to grabbing the tip.
Q: What did the terrorist say during a plane flight? A: “Wow! This flight is the bomb!”
Joe mama so fat when she got sturdy, she tripped on her shoelaces, fell on her face, and fell down 2 floors.
Yoo! I found a $100 bill, found a child who said they lost their $100 bill. Gave them $25.
When God gives you glory, you give it back.