Short jokes
Anyone know about the war? It's not Russia we should hate, it's Putin that we should. 🙄🤪💅
What colors were Kurt Cobain's eyes? Blue! One blew right and the other blew up!
Quit making those progeria jokes. They get old very quickly.
Why don't you shower with a Pokemon? He might Pikachú.
What noise does Sally like to say? Splat!
Why are wives also called a housekeeper?
Because after the divorce, they keep the house.
I went to a seafood shop.
I pulled a muscle.
Why did the duck not enjoy his restaurant date?
Because he didn't want to see the bill.
What's a skeleton's favorite instrument?
A trombone.
I will always remember the last noise I hear in my school, "oogga booga motherf***ers," click, boom!
I wanted to get brain surgery.
I changed my mind.
It said to submit a joke, and that's what my mom did when I was born.
My heart is like a plane.
It crashes every once in a while.
"Immobile" means "I'm mobile" in my books.
I'm a big fan of white boards; they're remarkable.
My friend texted me and asked me, "Hey. What's your favorite emoji?"
I said, "😬😬😬😬😬😬😬"
She said, "Why?"
I said, "'Cause it's your twin."
Why don’t they let Stephen Hawking have other electronics around him? Because he will sound staticky.
What do you call a chill transgender?
Fictional.
What did the banana say to the peel?
“Let’s split!”
What did Allah say when he created the universe?
-Allahu akbar!!!