Short jokes
Some dude called me a tool.
So later I got hammered and nailed his girlfriend.
Guess he was right :/
A person laughs every day.
"Man," they say, "I'm glad I'm not an egg, otherwise I'd just CRACK MYseLf uP!"
Junkyard dogs may be mean, but the meanest dogs are the ones guarding concentration camps.
China wants their name on everything but the m.f. virus.
My crush said that she would rather die than have sex with me... It turns out that she was lying.
Q: Why did the fault line start acting crazy?
A: Because it was on crack.
I went to the bank to apply for a Personal Loan.
Then they found out I wanted to be a rapper, so they didn't want to Post M"loan."
Me: Knock knock.
Person: Who's there?
Me: No-one.
Person: No-one who?
Me:...........
What do ya call a legless prostitute in a strawberry field?
A jammy cunt.
Wanna hear a joke about Donald Trump?
Ok, Melania totally married him for his good looks, believe me!
Medusa makes men hard.
Why are you so bonely, my friend? I am at least glad that you are not boneless.
How did you get Sally into a blender?
- Without much resistance.
How do you get Sally out of a blender?
- Tortilla chips.
Yo mama so fat, when she joined Team 10...
It became TEAM, 10, TONS!
My dad was a roof cleaner and I'm dedicating this to him, so dad, if you're up there!
Will you remember me in 7 years?
(Yes)
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
A farmer counted 196 cows in the field.
But when he rounded them up, he had 200.
Sans: Pap, your spaghetti is bonearific.
PaprUs: Sans, no. Aw, your funny bone is not working; come on, that one was a rib tickler.
All dumbs aren't blonde.
What time is it when a nurse's here?
It's nurse-thirty.