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A cop sees an old woman carrying two large sacks. One of the sacks has a hole and is leaking 20 dollar bills.

The cop asks the woman, “Where did an old lady like you get all of that money?”

She replies, “Well, there’s a golf course behind my house and when golfers need to go to the bathroom, they stick their p.... through a hole in my fence and pee into my yard. It became a problem because it kills the flowers.”

The cop asks, “So what did you do about it?”

The old lady says, “I get my hedge clippers and I wait behind the fence. When a golfer sticks his p.... through the fence, I grab ahold of it and shout GIVE ME $20 OR IT COMES CLEAN OFF!”

“That seems fair enough,” the cop says, “so what’s in the other sack?”

The old lady replies with, “Not everyone pays…”

A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer, “This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you.”

The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, “Which do you want, son?” The boy takes the quarters and leaves.

“What did I tell you?” said the barber. “That kid never learns!”

Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream parlor.

“Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?”

The boy licked his cone and replied:

“Because the day I take the dollar the game is over!”

Why did Hitler commit suicide? He saw the gas bill.

Two boys were arguing in class one day when the teacher walked in to the classroom. The teacher asked them, “Why are you arguing?”

One of the boys replied, “We found a ten dollar bill and decided to give it to whoever tells the biggest lie.”

“You should be ashamed of yourselves,” said the teacher. “When I was your age I didn’t even know what a lie was.”

The boys gave the ten dollars to the teacher.

“Don’t be dumb,make sure she’s numb”

  • bill cosby

What does Bill say to Hillary after sex? – “Honey, I’ll be home in 20 minutes.”

My friend can’t afford to pay his water bill anymore, so I sent him a card, “Get well soon.”

Bippity Boppity Bill Cosby!

Bill Gates teaches a kindergarten class to count to ten. “1, 2, 3, 3.1, 95, 98, ME, 2000, XP, Vista, 7, 8, 10.”

What kind of woman does Bill Cosby like the most?

The “cold and passed out” kind.

Why does Bill Clinton wear boxers? – To keep his ankles warm.

bippidy boppidy boo Bill Cosby is coming for you

What is it called when Bill Cosby and a illegal immigrant fight? Aliens vs. Predator

How to decorate a wall:

Strip of the paper and original plaster

put on fresh plaster and wall paper

paint it (if you want)

Send a bill to North America and wait patiently for a reply

Y did Steven hawking die he didn’t pay his electricity bills

Santa and Bill Cosby’s favorite quote " don’t be dumb make sure they’re numb and always use a condom!"

one dollor bill is with a five doller bill. the 5 says " i make more cents then you

how do birds pay? with their bills.

Bippity Boppity Boop Bill Cosby’s coming for you!!!

Why did the duck not enjoy his restaurant date?

Because he didn’t want to see the bill.