Short jokes
What did Google Translate say to Siri?
"Why are you so Siri-ous?"
There was an oil spill in the ocean. Now the ocean can't see!
Why did the cumulonimbus not show up for work?
Because it was on strike.
Someone threw a cup at my eye. I told 911 that I was mugged.
Taja?
Stormtrooper: Hey Palpatine! Luke is Vader's son.
Palpatine: Knew it.
I once did an exam on rainbows. I passed with flying colors.
Why was the sheep arrested?
Because he did a "ewe" turn on a motorway.
Ya gotta hand it to short people...
My friend David lost his ID.
Now he is just Dav.
What did the dirt say to the embers?
You look smoking hot.
Roses are red, violets are not, everyone at Grant High School is probably a thot.
Confucius say, man who go through turn table is going to Bangkok.
I like my women how I like my golf score: low in the 80s and with a handicap.
I would tell you a joke about a slice of pizza, but it's really... cheesy. I donut think you will come up with a better pun than this.
What burns up a football stadium?
A football match.
My hips can't move, but Heineken.
How do you get two deaf people from fighting?
Turn off the lights and walk out.
Why won't my boyfriend eat my pie? His brother made it.
What was King Tut's favorite coffee?
De-coffin-ated.