Short jokes
Yo mama so fat, she eats with three utensils: a knife, spoon, and a forklift.
Me: My grandpa killed 100 nazis in WWII.
My Friend: Well my grandpa killed Hitler.
Me: *Realizes*
Why do orphans get confused about ancient Egypt? Because they wouldn’t know what a mummy is.
What's an orphan's favorite Roblox game?
Adopt Me!
With the sentence "Die in hell," you can buy shoes in Germany.
I had sex with a disabled girl. You can say I handiclapped those cheeks.
What was Hitler's favorite thing to do to pass the time?
Smoking.
Did you hear about the baby with cancer? It never gets old.
How do we know Cinderella is a virgin?
Because she runs away from balls.
It's not incest if you're adopted.
Why are Black women dating white men?
So their kids don’t have to worry about not meeting their father.
What do you call yourself when you fist a midget?
A ventriloquist.
What song did Michael Jackson come up with after his first sleepover with the kid?
"Just Beat It."
Why do Black people not like country music?
Because every time they hear "hoedown," they think their sister got shot.
What’s missing from an orphan's iPad?
The home button.
Roses are red,
Violets are blue, you look like a donkey, and smell like one, too.
Gay is a mental illness.
You're not thinking straight.
Did you hear about the cat jail break out? It was a cat-tastrophe.
When the teacher gives me an F on my exam,
but I have an AK-47 in my backpack.
*Is honestly the best policy.*
The highest level of trust in the world is when two cannibals are each giving each other blowjobs.