Short jokes
So my friend's birthday was coming up, so I got him a new box to live in.
Paper.
Aww c'mon! I thought my joke made the cut!
Q: Why did Sally get beat up?
A: She couldn’t fight back.
What did Sally get for Easter?..
Nail polish.
If Adolf starred in the Room, his most iconic line would be “I did not Hitler! I did not!”
What is an astronaut's favorite part of a keyboard?
The SPACE BAR!
How are a mouse and a bale of hay alike?
The cat'll eat it (the cattle eat it).
What was Stephen Hawking's mother's name?
Ilean.
They finally made a movie about a clock, about time.
If a cat hits you with her tail, is it considered being pussy whipped?
Teacher: What does a chicken give you?
Student: An egg!
Teacher: What does a fat cow give you?
Student: Homework!
Where do astronauts 👩🚀 keep their sandwiches 🥪?
In their launch box! 🚀📦😂
My depressed mom looks good hanging from a tree.
Why did the orphan cross the street? Because they thought that mommy and daddy was on the other side.
You smell like tap water and cornflakes.
Why is Mrs. Grapes 🍇 a good mother?
Because she loves raisin' kids.
My doctor told me it was perfectly normal to become aroused or even ejaculate during a prostate exam.
That being said I wish he hadn't!
A clown held a door open for me. I thought it was a nice jester.
Why was Stephen Hawking always bullied?
Because he couldn’t stand up for himself.
It isn't a real charity until India opens call centers, like they did with Africa.