Short jokes

What was the Nazi racing tournament in 1943?

Gasar.

What do you call a skeleton with no bones? A boneless boy.

Today I ate out my girlfriend... Jeffrey Dahmer style.

Me: Hey, say I am ugly for a billion pounds.

Them: You're ugly.

Me: Sorry, I am not a mirror.

What do feminists and tampons have in common?

They're both stuck-up cunts.

You have more chin than brain cells!

What’s the worst thing about being a pedophile?

Fitting it in.

I need to fuck an emo girl... those bitches are limited edition!

What do you call a group of black people?

A hoodie.

Only if onions were emo, they'd cut themselves.

What do fire and people have in common?

They will both eventually die out.

How many time does it take to cook a baby in a microwave?

I don’t know, I can’t count while masturbating.

Yesterday, I tickled my granddaughter's feet.

She is being born in 2 months.

The sun isn’t the only thing that rose up this morning...

Yesterday we lost a quarter of our roof in the storm, oof.

What does a serial killer make for breakfast?

Scrambled legs and toes.

Bro, your toenails are bigger than your IQ.

What do you call a bunch of Aboriginals rolling down a hill?

Abo-lanche.

What do you call Stephen Hawking on his period?

Mario Kart.

Statistically, 1 in 10 people live next door to a pedophile. But not me, I live next to a 10-year-old boy with a fat ass.