Short jokes
I went to a seafood shop.
I pulled a muscle.
Q: Why did the fault line start acting crazy?
A: Because it was on crack.
How did you get Sally into a blender?
- Without much resistance.
How do you get Sally out of a blender?
- Tortilla chips.
Sans: Pap, your spaghetti is bonearific.
PaprUs: Sans, no. Aw, your funny bone is not working; come on, that one was a rib tickler.
A farmer counted 196 cows in the field.
But when he rounded them up, he had 200.
What did the banana say to the peel?
“Let’s split!”
What did Allah say when he created the universe?
-Allahu akbar!!!
All dumbs aren't blonde.
When does it rain money?
When there's a change in the weather.
My crush said that she would rather die than have sex with me... It turns out that she was lying.
Why are you so bonely, my friend? I am at least glad that you are not boneless.
"Immobile" means "I'm mobile" in my books.
Yo mama so fat, when she joined Team 10...
It became TEAM, 10, TONS!
Me: Knock knock.
Person: Who's there?
Me: No-one.
Person: No-one who?
Me:...........
China wants their name on everything but the m.f. virus.
How can you tell an anti-vaccine kid?
It's only got 10 hours to live.
An assassin threatens a planet.
The planet remains calm.
The assassin: "Do you not realize the gravity of this situation?"
What did the orphan say to his father?
Nothing, he doesn't have one.
I went to the bank to apply for a Personal Loan.
Then they found out I wanted to be a rapper, so they didn't want to Post M"loan."
It said to submit a joke, and that's what my mom did when I was born.