Short jokes
China wants their name on everything but the m.f. virus.
Why don't you shower with a Pokemon? He might Pikachú.
God, people are so sensitive these days. You can't even say, "Paint the wall black," you have to say, "Jamal, could you paint the wall?"
Yo mama so old that her breastmilk was powdered. You breastfeed like this 🌬💨.
Why did the booty go to therapy?
It had some DEEP-SEATED issues.
I'll never forget my mother's last words: "What are you doing with that sledgehammer?"
What did Allah say when he created the universe?
-Allahu akbar!!!
What do you get when you cross a highway on a bike?
Run over.
I love breakups. My ex-girlfriends always end up in pieces.
My dad was a roof cleaner and I'm dedicating this to him, so dad, if you're up there!
Where did Sally go during the bombing? Everywhere.
Your mama is so fat that when she was playing online, she crashed the whole server.
I'm a big fan of white boards; they're remarkable.
What did the banana say to the peel?
“Let’s split!”
Why are you so bonely, my friend? I am at least glad that you are not boneless.
How did you get Sally into a blender?
- Without much resistance.
How do you get Sally out of a blender?
- Tortilla chips.
My crush said that she would rather die than have sex with me... It turns out that she was lying.
I told my girlfriend she drew her eyebrows too high. She seemed surprised.
Will you remember me in 7 years?
(Yes)
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
A farmer counted 196 cows in the field.
But when he rounded them up, he had 200.
How can you tell an anti-vaccine kid?
It's only got 10 hours to live.