Short jokes
I found a rock at the park. I threw it at some orphans.
What would they do? Go to their family?
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
They don't know where home is.
What do you say to a person who got his whole left side cut off? "Are you all right?!"
Why is the U.S. so mad about the Twin Towers? It was an accident. The pilots were new.
I wanna tell you guys a joke about a broken pencil...
But it’s quite pointless.
A handicapped person was making fun of me, so I walked away.
What do you get when you cross a lawn mower and a parakeet?
Shredded tweet!
We are all just suicidal kids telling other kids not to do it.
The Bible said, "Adam and Eve..." So I did both.
Who makes the best anteaters?
Uncle's... (Aunt eaters)
My girlfriend got ran over by a bus. I lost my job as a bus driver.
Why is Saturn richer than other planets?
It has a ring!
What do a condom and a gun have in common? You should never use either one of them.
You are my compass; without you, I’m lost.
Why did the baker give the shopper a butt? Because she asked for a butt!
One day I went to smoke weed with some Mexicans, but they ran away when I asked if they had papers.
What happens to chickens that get kidnapped by rapists?
They get choked.
Your sister is so ugly, she made Hello Kitty say goodbye.
What do you get when you mix a lemon and a cat?
A sourpuss.
Knock knock.
Orphan: Who's there?
Not your parents.