Short jokes
Why would Tommy kill Philza's wife just to make Phil believe she didn't exist?
LIKE AND SUB IF YOU LI/j
What issues don't orphans have?
Daddy issues.
What do Bob Ross's painting and the orphanage have in common?
They're both filled with happy little accidents.
What game can an emo play on their wrists without an ink pen?
Tic-tac-toe.
Using pi, distract the fat kid next to you so you can copy his answers.
Me dozing off while driving.
Everyone else on the passenger plane: September 11, 2001.
SAVE ORPHAN JOKES! SAVE THEM!
I come in from work to see my wife dead on the sofa. As I unzip for one last ride, she says, "BOO!" What kind of a dick fuck does that!
What’s the difference between a cat and a frog?
A cat has nine lives, and a frog croaks every day.
2k14 was so realistic when I switched to Kobe, the pass button stopped working.
What did the snail say to his ex-wife?
"I'm still leaving you!"
What’s the difference between a job and a wife?
The job keeps sucking after 5 years.
If Kenny had a son, we all know he would also be his brother.
My parents telling me: "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger."
Me upset about my suicide attempt doesn't succeed.
I was walking and I saw a girl crying, and she told me to take her dollhouse and I asked why. She said because I don't have one.
Does an orphanage have daddy issues?
Yes, because he didn't come back from getting the milk.
Me: I'm retarded.
Teacher: Why?
Me: It took me 2 hours to see "60 Minutes."
Why is a brick always hard? Because the Indians played with it enough.
I need a hug.
*hugs train*
Why did the cow have for breakfast?
Answer: Muesli.