Short jokes
Helen threw up gang signs her whole life and didn't know.
I love trash bags because they remind me of my heart... black.
Ring.. Ring.. Yes this is Dave from the Orphanage, "you make 'em we take 'em", how may I be of service?
Latias is red.
Latios is blue.
You should always remember to put up your curtains because I Pikachu.
What do Madeline McCann and a submarine have in common?
Both are at the bottom of the ocean full of seamen!
What did the snail say to his ex-wife?
"I'm still leaving you!"
What’s the difference between a job and a wife?
The job keeps sucking after 5 years.
Is it a bird, is it a plane?
No, it’s a 9/11 victim.
Why does the basketball never get a date?
Because they dribble.
What is a geographical discovery? Little Johnny found his geography homework undone.
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
They can't find home.
You look so pretty. Not at all gross today.
I’d roast you, but your mirror does that for me every day.
What's the difference between an orphan and Stuart Little?
Stuart Little got chosen!
Scan my wrist for 75% off!
What's the difference between the Twin Towers and your parents?
Nothing. They are both just memories.
Why don’t you get a book about how to commit suicide?
Because you won’t bring it back afterwards.
I fucked your mom, oh wait, you don't have one.
What's the difference between Jesus and a holy whore?
Jesus got pegged against a cross.
Does anyone know what's going on with all the creeps that joined and restart your school laptop to get everything unblocked?