My name is Dan, I wear white Vans, I have a gun, get in the van!
Short Jokes
I’d like to be a One Direction poster because I want to be nailed to the wall by a teenage girl ;)
What's the difference between a dead baby and an orange?
I don't keep a trash bag full of oranges in my basement.
What kind of mask are you wearing?
An Elon Musk!
I can't wait to see Uranus! 😂
My grandpa died during World War II. He was the best concentration camp guard they have ever seen. RIP.
What did the flower say to the crazy peanut?
"Ur going nuts boii, get back on yo' plant. Ur too nuts for me."
Americans don't like playing chess with Muslims; last time they did play, they ended up losing two towers.
What's yellow and can’t swim?
Your dead fish.
What is the definition of a woman?
A life support system for a vagina.
What's the difference between my girlfriend and my sister?
There is no difference.
Two lepers playing cards... one threw his hand in; the other laughed his head off.
Remember that you're unique, just like everyone else.
Why did Spider-Man decide to buy a laptop?
So that he could design his own “website.”
Why did the farmer eat a fork?
'Cause he's a dumbass.
What did Spock encounter in the Enterprise toilet?
The Captain's Log.
If you drink hand sanitizer, does it only kill 99.9% of you?...........💀
What did Sally say when she was stuck in the water with kelp?
"I need kelp! KELPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP"
A student got a bad letter grade, so the next day he came back with his own letter grade in his backpack: an A-K47.
What do shemales and barns have in common?
Cocks.
