Short jokes
How is there evidence of climate change?
The liberal snowflakes are drastically melting down!
What do you call a kid with 15 nukes and a shotgun?
The final countdown.
Me: I'm afraid of random letters.
Therapist: You are?
Me: [screams]
Therapist: Oh, I see.
Me: [screaming intensifies]
I am in trouble. My mum asked me to get six cans of Sprite.
But I got seven Up.
The 3 life rules:
1.
2.
3.
Oh, there are no rules, because you have no life.
Your forehead is so big you can headbutt my face and chest at the same time.
My dad went for the milk, but he left his wheelchair.
What do you call a bunch of white guys sitting on a bench?
The NBA.
We just found out Grandpa is addicted to Viagra. No one is taking it harder than Grandma.
Why were the Twin Towers upset? Because they ordered pepperoni, yet plane arrived!!!
B: Can you please stop roasting me?
A: At least the "roasting" that I did to you didn't burn you to death.
What do you call a genderless child?
It's not a mister, it's not a misses, I'm more for a mystery.
You call it turds.
I call it the forbidden chocolate.
I don't call it arson. I call it warming up.
What's the difference between onions and children? Nothing, when you cut one everyone around you cries.
Period blood is like KFC, because it's finger-licking good!
Jo Mama is so dumb, she tried to eat the Super Bowl.
Jo Mama is so fat, I left her printing last year, and she is still printing!
What do grapes 🍇 love most about family?
Raisin kids!
What do a jack-o-lantern and an emo have in common?
They can both carve a new emotion.