Short jokes
Why did the cellphone get glasses? Because it lost its contacts!
Surveys show that 80% of women who wear yoga pants never do yoga.
And 100% of men don’t care.
How do you know someone from India is a good sniper?
They have a dot in the middle of the head.
What did the horse say after it tripped?
Help! I’ve fallen and I can’t giddyup!
Why isn't there a pregnant Barbie doll?
Ken came in another box.
What did Cinderella say to Prince Charming?
"Want to see if it fits?"
Haters are hating. I'm still alluring, but I couldn't give a fuck cus this site is dying and boring.
Why did the telemarketer cross the road?
I don't know.
I don't know either, but I hope there was a car coming.
Calling you an idiot would be an insult to stupid people. You're much worse than that.
Americans leave without saying goodbye, and Russians say goodbye without leaving.
Why do rappers love the gym?
'Cause they're all about them heavy bars.
What does an Asian say when his car tires burst on the highway?
"Some Ting Wheely Wong!"
What do you call a black man in the army in camo? Incogneggo.
I’d pound your mom so fast, even Sonic would get jealous!
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite type of music?
Rock and Roll.
What do you call a homosexual wrestler?
Gay Mysterio.
What do you call two Chinese lesbians?
Two can't chew.
What is a paedo's favourite time of year?
Halloween because they get free delivery.
What’s the hardest part about being a PEDO?
Fitting in.
What animal has five legs? A pitbull returning from a playground.