Short jokes
What is the difference between a broom and a mop?
It’s hard to beat my girlfriend when she’s holding the mop.
My wife said she wanted steamed vegetables with her steak, so I put her father in the hot tub.
What did Bill Cosby say on the second date?
"Hi, nice to meet you."
Your mom is so stupid that she thought LGBTQ was a sandwich.
Your mom is so dumb that she thought Dunkin' Donuts was a basketball team.
What do you call it when a gay guy eats Cheerios?
Fruit Loops.
What do you do to a deaf girl after you’re done fucking her?
Break her fingers so she can’t tell anyone.
Yesterday during the storm, there was a blackout, so I shot him.
I used to date this girl only to find out she's a guy.
I guess you can say she had me in a trans.
Sparkling water was invented by Germans. Who else would add gas?
I really used to be into emo chicks. Now they just don't make the cut.
Tons of people committed suicide on 9/11 by destroying government property.
Not to mention and by plane.
What did the Pokémon say after having sex?
"My ball was sore!"
What do the initials FBI stand for?
Federal Bureau of Idiots.
What do the initials CIA stand for?
Central Intelligence of A**holes.
What did the captured Germans say to the French in WW1?
"Verdun for."
Did you hear about the guy who was arrested for stealing luggage? Unfortunately, he lost his case.
Is it OK to tell a Covid patient to stay positive?
My girlfriend really wants me to get her pregnant so she would have a father figure in her life for once.
You’re so fine that my zipper is falling for you.