Short jokes
There are times I miss you, that I wish I could remember where I hid your body.
My friend is gonna release an air strike. There has to be at least 20 confirmed toilet kills.
Why do potatoes make good detectives?
Because they keep their eyes peeled!
What is a duck's favorite drink to sip on? Duck wine.
Why was the sea sad? Because it was blue.
Why can’t orphans win trophies?
Because they can’t take them home.
Why did the actor fall through the floor?
He was just going through a stage!
"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Interrupting cow." "Interrupting cow wh-" "MOO!"
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Ken.
Ken who?
Can you walk the dog for me?
How do you make an apple turnover?
You push it down a hill.
I wondered as the rock in the sky got bigger and bigger, then it hit the bottom of the Earth, and... "explosion!"
Why do depressed people want to kill themselves?
To be loved on the news show for 10 minutes.
How do mountains get big?
They go trick-or-treating!
Why did the boy study for his math test in a tree?
'Cause he wanted higher grades.
What type of sandals do frogs wear?
Open-toed.
I'm stumped.
What do you say when a person trips?
You say, "Why you trippin'?"
I hit something when I pulled into my driveway.
And then I noticed that my cat was missing.
My 3 year old sister kept saying, "I like your cut, G." Every time she does, I dodge and close my eyes, but she's the one who always ends up running.
If you read this, you lost your v card.