You are my compass; without you, I’m lost.
Short Jokes
I just wish I went on a date with Ariana Grande, and then everybody knew I fucked Ariana Grande.
Hi guys, I feel forgotten lol. I feel like a banana peel... no one will talk to me. Oh, I got a good idea! We do a Google Meet!
Did anyone ever notice that "STUDYING" is a mixture of studying and dying?
My ex died in an anchorage accident.
She always was a sleeping hooker.
What do Mexicans cut their pizza with? A Little Caesars.
What does Santa say for the toys to go to bed?
"Time to hit the sack!"
Me: I'm retarded.
Teacher: Why?
Me: It took me 2 hours to see "60 Minutes."
Why is a brick always hard? Because the Indians played with it enough.
Where did the school kittens go for their field trip?
To the mew-seum!
I come in from work to see my wife dead on the sofa. As I unzip for one last ride, she says, "BOO!" What kind of a dick fuck does that!
Why did the orphan rob the bank?
Because he/she wanted to be wanted!
What did the orphan say to his dad last?
Please get non-fat milk!
What's the difference between soccer and a dead baby?
I don't wear steel cap boots when I play soccer.
If an orphan wants food, who does it? No one. Everybody just watches him starve because they couldn't find his parents.
Why is Saturn richer than other planets?
It has a ring!
My girlfriend got ran over by a bus. I lost my job as a bus driver.
A boy went to a doctor, and the doctor said, "I can't treat you." The boy asked why, and the doctor said, "Because I'm a family doctor."
A priest asks a convicted murderer on the electric chair, "Do you have any last request?"
"Yes," said the murderer, "Will you hold my hand?"
Bullying orphans is like bullying the homeless kid; both cry when you make fun of their parents.
