Short jokes
My departed uncle was a circus clown before he died.
So all his friends came in one car.
What do you call 8 x 3.14?
Octopi.
"Octo" means 8 and an octopus has 8 legs... so where did the "pus" come from?
I asked my mum to be in the Paralympics, and she said I had to eat more vegetables.
Do you know how diarrhea is common in families? Because it runs in your genes.
How did I know where you would go next?
Oh, I felt it in my bones!
Why can North Korea draw a straight line? Because they've got a supreme ruler.
What is Stephen Hawking's favorite song?
"Highway to Hell."
"Don't forget you are what you eat," said one person. "Then I should eat a skinny person!" said the other.
Stop with the dead baby jokes. We're running out of babies.
God created everyone unique till he got to Asia, then it just went to copy paste, copy paste.
What do you call an Asian chick with dick in her ass, pushy and mouth?
Filipino.
I'm required by law to tell you I am a registered sex offender.
9/11 is like genders.
There used to be two of them, and now it’s a touchy subject.
Boi, you can't be talking because if someone punched you in the face, you will be the one to apologize.
Girls are like numbers squared. If they're under 13, just do 'em in your head.
Why does the orphan commit suicide to join the other side to see their parents?
"Abortion: Another word for dying at spawn."
What did Stevie Wonder see when he got murdered?
Nothing.
I would make a disabled joke.
But they never work.