Short jokes
I thought I saw a cool sticker on my office window, then I realized it was getting bigger and bigger.
I was at a bar. The girl said, "Sex, sex, free sex tonight," when she really said, "663629."
What do you get when you die in Undertale and go to Temmie Village?
DeterMIENATION
Wanted to go to the zoo, it was too packed, so I went to KFC instead. Their monkey enclosure is better anyway.
How did the orphan operate the phone? He didn't. He didn't understand the homepage.
Anyone want to eat me up? I'm in that kind of mood right now.
TV: Water found on Mars...
Mars: 1
Africa: 0
Why do people who get shot in the head always become therapists?
They are more open-minded.
I wish death was in the form of a woman.
That way, it would never come for me.
Why are gay dudes so rude?
Because they're fucking assholes.
Alcoholics don't run in my family, they drive.
I saw two blind men fighting at the mall. I yelled, "He has a gun!" They both ran.
If there is a guy in a wheelchair and he is a bully, say, "I’m still standing."
Why did Paul Walker regret turning in his test?
Because his grade went from 99 to 0 in less than a second.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, Hitler blew an 11 country lead, During World War 2.
If James Bond is the most famous spy, wouldn't that also make him the worst spy?
I am on the German website.
Whenever I order coffee, I always get the depresso with extra depresso sauce.
What’s worse than spiders on your piano?
Crabs on your organ!
Where did Jeffrey Epstein go to college?
Bring them young.