Short jokes
Playing Russian roulette alone means you're bound to be a winner eventually.
How many altar boys does it take to screw in a light bulb? Depends on how dark the priests' basement is.
I'm always hanging in there.
Hanging on the wall.
If anyone's joke here says "burn in hell," I will mimic your account for the rest of your life.
Why can't an orphan live peacefully?
Technoblade: As a ghost, he could locate all orphans within 2 weeks.
What’s big, pink, long and makes my 12 year old girlfriend cry when I put it in her mouth?
Her miscarriage.
What does an armed bank robbery and Michael Jackson have in common?
Someone gets hurt.
Person 1: How many people has Michael Jackson fingered?
Person 2: Dunno, what’s the minor population?
I was at school when I remembered I forgot my necklace, then I screamed out, "Shit, I forgot Grandpa!"
Jimmy watched in horror as Alex told the suicidal man to do a flip.
What is the best shield to use during a battle? The emo kid.
If Batman is half bat and half human, how was he made?
"He wasn't because you can't f*ck a bat."
If a furry looks like an animal, sounds like animal, and acts like an animal, can I run over it with my car like an animal?
How do lesbians have sex? It’s too complicated. I’d have to show you.
What do you call an orphan's family reunion?
Alone time.
The cannibal got angry, so he threw up his arms.
What's Michael Jackson's favorite drug? Crack.
What do you call a llama that was in 9/11? Osama Bin Llama.
Everybody asks, "What's up?" but nobody asks, "What's down?"
You could say Kobe's career went up in smoke.