Short jokes
Why can't religious women be raped? Because they are taught to never say no!
How is abortion different from rape? Babies never consent to it.
Why did the orphan get arrested for identity theft?
He dressed up as Batman for Halloween.
Why are drums and autistic people the same?
They both go "uh uh uh uh uh uh!"
Who wants to be my boyfriend, please?
If you take off the first and last letter of "demon," they're gonna turn emo.
Why does Elmo turn emo? Because he's Elmo emo.
What do you call Stephen Hawking on a bungy jump?
Spasticelastic.
What is an orphan's hated movie line?
E.T. phone home.
What’s the difference between a dad and a boulder?
About 15 stone.
Man, that's funny!
I know your hairline's pretty bent, but your gender's on a different level.
Me before: Why do bandanas exist? They're ugly.
Me after seeing your hairline: Oh, I seeee.
Me giving pro tip: Get a bandana LMAO.
What's the difference between Wacko Jacko and Elvis Presley?
14 number 1 hits.
Ariana Grande agrees with me on something: women belong in the kitchen and bedroom.
Women should have the right to choose whether they want to do cooking or cleaning first.
Why was the baby Dinosaur an orphan?
His family was blown up by meteors.
"My name is Walter Hartwell White. I live at 308 Negra Arroyo Lane, Albuquerque, New Mexico, 87104."
Why do so many people hate Bill Cosby? I mean, all he did was have affairs with drunk, attention-seeking women. They literally begged for it.
What is the difference between an orphan and a mailman?
The mailman goes home at the end of the day.