Short jokes
Why does Joe only have 264 days in his calendar?
Because he can't celebrate Father's Day.
*walks into sex shop*
Hello. I would like to buy 1 sex, please.
Why did the Vampire put his son up for adoption?
He thought his son sucked!
What do you call a large lamp that does illicit things to young children?
A Jacko Lantern!
What does Diana stand for?
Died In A Nasty Accident.
When you cream pie a tardy hottie, it’s called a loaded potato. 🥴🦴💨🥔
Why did Michael Jackson become white? He wanted to be like a ghost, and I have any feeheet.
My penis is so polite. It stands up so girls can sit down.
You're so ugly, Hello Kitty said goodbye.
Your mama is so ugly that when she walked in the bank, they had to turn off the cameras.
Two friends fighting.
Friend 3: "Cut it out, you two!"
Friend 4: "It wouldn't help if they cut it out... Believe me... I've tried..."
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What does a zebra and I have in common?
We both have stripes.
This chess game against America and England is getting interesting. First, America lost both of its towers, but now England has lost its queen.
If I teach man he is the fish I caught, will I no longer be a fisher of men?
There's an outbreak of foot and mouth disease, it can affect pigs and cows.
I hope my teacher will be ok.
Why does Satan worship himself?
Jesus told him to worship God.
What did the police say on the TV during 9/11?
"Call 911!"
A true God would be godless himself.
God's consciousness: Art.
God's unconsciousness: Christianity.