Short jokes
I was gobsmacked when I encountered the Jacko special at a Bunnings sausage sizzle. A 40-year-old sausage on 7-year-old white bread.
When Hitler killed himself, he shot himself twice. The first one was Operation Barbarossa, and the second one was his death.
what does an orphanage and a hospital have in common?
people go there to fix their mistakes.
ENTER PASSWORD.
WRONG.
WRONG.
WRONG.
WRONG.
WRONG.
WRONG.
RESET PASSWORD.
NEW PASSWORD CAN'T BE OLD PASSWORD.
Sets fire to computer.
Uber driver: .........
Me: .........
Uber driver: .........
Me: 5 stars.
Why can't an orphan get married? It doesn't have its parents' blessing.
What do the initials POOP stand for?
Polacks Order Our Poop. 💩 💩 💩 💩 💩 💩 💩 💩 💩 💩 💩
My cousin: “How’s the lemonade stand supposed to run when you’re at softball practice?!”
Me: “Lemonade stands can’t run, dufus.”
Does money grow on trees? No.
What is money made of? Paper.
What is paper made out of? Trees!
P.S. My brother made this up when he had no meds... I almost died.
What does ATM stand for?
Answer: Amy’s Terrible Mom.
😂🤣
What’s a vacuum cleaner’s favorite plant?
Answer: SUCCulent
Okay, so I have a dairy and sugar allergy, and if I eat it, I get REALLY CONSTIPATED, so this is me when I’m constipated ᕙ(⇀‸↼‵‵)ᕗ lol.
I could have sworn while watching anime I saw an American Boeing B-29 Superfortress in the background dropping bombs!
Roses are red, Violets are blue, I need your peach, and I'll torture you with a speech.
Roses are red... blood is too... I wonder how blood would look on you.
Why do you have to pay to see Russian people?
Because the zoo is not free, Duhhhhh🙄
*America shoots down balloon*
China: "You killed an innocent man!!"
USA: "What?!"
China: "Yes, he was a famous sumo wrestler."
Why did the Japanese NOT shoot down the American plane that was dropping atomic bombs?
From what their eyes saw, it was a piece of rice.
What did the Americans call the Battle of Midway after Pearl Harbor?
The Jap trap.
Ok guys, I have one last joke (for now).
What do you call it when Panera is over?
Panera end.