Short jokes
So Helen Keller walked into a bar, then a stool, then a table, then a door...
Mrs. Duncan knows where you live. She lives there too. In your basement... lolololololololololololololololololol
Why was the ocean so blue? Because the island never waved back.
👌neck
What do you call a pen with no head?
DeCAPitated.
I would tell you a construction pun, but I'm still working on it.
Kevin Woody (look him up)
Your mum!
Why would hunting a bald eagle in America be a bad idea?
Because it's ill-eagle.
What's 6ft long, red, and my girlfriend cries when I feed it to her?
A miscarriage.
Hear about the restaurant called karma? There is no menu: You get what you deserve.
"Florida was ranked the worst state in the 50 states by Thriller."
Florida: Well, WE didn't want to give our oranges anyway!
I used to have a fear of hurdles.
But I got over it.
I entered ten puns into a contest to see which one would win.
No pun in ten did.
Where do mathematicians go to die?
The symmetry.
Why do babies cry? Cuz they can't suck very well.
Knock, knock. Who's there? Iceberg lettuce. Iceberg lettuce who? Iceberg! Let us in!
I don't like condoms, but I like gay pregnant X.
How did a man kill his car? He throttled it.
A man puts in ten jokes into a joke contest. He hopes that at least one will win. Sadly, no pun intended.