Short jokes
What is a rabbit's favorite type of jewelry?
Carats.
So I was doing a puzzle, and I was getting triggered with it. My friend said, "It's puzzling why you're so triggered."
What do you call a Catholic priest who molests children?
A Catholic priest.
What's red, green, and smells like shit?
... Red and green shit.
I'm straighter than a rainbow.
What does a baby in a blender look like?
I don’t know, I close my eyes when I masturbate.
What do you call an Asian prostitute?
Suck Mi Dong.
Who are the fastest readers in the world?
9/11 Victims, they went through 89 stories in 7 seconds.
When the school shooter leaves your classroom and the autistic kid’s sketchers light up.
What are you going to have for a face when the baboon wants its butt back?
What did a gay Indian use as weapons of war?
A rain-bow.
What happens when you say, "Hey Siri?"
Stephen Hawking answers.
Why did the chef flip a pancake? Because he was a tosser.
To the people who have seen "Meet The Fockers" at the movies and they hated it, Fock You, Motherfockers!
A drum rolled down a hill. Ba-dum-tsssh!
What do you call someone that illegally transports cups? - A s-mug-gler.
The cop that is on a 12 o'clock shift says, "Hands up!"
Why do ballerinas wear tutus?
The one-ones are too small and the three-threes are too big.
The judge asked me, "How does 5 to 10 years sound?"
I said, "Sexy."
What did the Hiroshima survivor say about the day Little Boy dropped? "It was a blast!"