Short jokes
Why don't skeletons fight each other?
They don't have the guts.
What do skeletons hate the most about wind?
Nothing, it goes right through them.
My brother truly is a numbskull.
My favorite instrument? The TromBONE, of course.
What does a skeleton order at a restaurant?
Spareribs!
Why can't skeletons play church music?
Because they have no organs.
Why are skeletons so calm?
Because nothing gets under their skin.
I've done a ton of work today.
A SKELE-ton of work!
Why did the Down syndrome person cross the road? Because there was a zebra crossing!
Women.
I once asked a sketchy man at a bar for some relationship advice. He simply replied, "They're all dead hookers once they're in the trunk."
What do McDonald's and a priest have in common? They both put their meat in 10 year old buns.
What did the guy with two hands say to the guy with one hand?
"Hi-five!"
I wish you guys all died.
Where would you take Stephen Hawking if he dies, the funeral directors or PC World?
What's the difference between a bird and a fly?
A bird can fly, but a fly can't bird!
What happens when Stephen Hawking dies?
The Windows shutdown sound plays.
Pedophiles are fucking immature assholes.
I told my doctor I was experiencing some back pain. He told me to smoke some weed because I had chronic back pain.
What do you call a pessimistic Mexican?
A Mexican't.