There's a man in Florida with no arms or legs who is armed and on the run
Why are people surprised by Johnny Depp having $30,000 wine bills, domestic violence accusations, rampant substance abuse, poor hygiene, and the looks of a predator? He grew up a Florida Man, after all.
Florida: Homemade Taco Stand
California: Homemade Lemonade Stand
Alabama: Homemade Abortion Stand
My parents came back from their vacation in Florida and all I got is this lousy nursemaid from Miami named mammie
COVID is like fashion...
We started hearing about it in Italy...
Became popular in LA and NYC...
Florida ignored it...
And it was all made in China in the end.
So there was school shooting in Florida why didn't the shooter just go to Disney.......sorry i just work there and I'm trying to get people to come on down.
Wacko Jacko bleached his skin, lit his head on fire, slept in a chamber, abused his pet monkey, built an amusement park on his own backyard, had toys as decor for his home, slept with little boys, raped little boys. Jacko was Florida Man before Florida Man.
What's the difference between Kelly Clarkson and a Florida real estate agent?
A Florida real estate agent screws over seniors, Kelly Clarkson screws little children.
My kids so dam bad.we took them to Disney in Florida.they paid me not to bring them back ever.
The people in Florida yelling "White Power!" is amusing, because when they get permanent sunburn from the Florida sun, they are not white anymore.
When I was your age, we had Wacko Jacko, not Florida Man.
Where does a pianist go on vacation?
The Florida Keys.
There were 2 guys in an asylum. One name Kenny and the other is Bob. The nurse went down the hall and saw Kenny act like he was packing his bags. Nurse said “What are you doin Kenny?” Kenny said “Going to Florida for the week.” Nurse said “Alright see ya when you get back.” Next day Nurse went down the hall again and saw Kenny laying down acting like he was holding a wine glass. Nurse said “What are you doing Kenny?” Kenny said “I am at the beach” Nurse said “Oh I forgot your in Florida for the week, see ya when you get back” Bob’s room was across the hall. Nurse went further down the hall and saw Bob on his bed jerking off. Nurse said “Goddamnit Bob what are you doing?” Bob said “Shhh, I am fucking Kenny’s wife right now, he is in Florida for the week”
Why couldn't Jesus have been born in Florida?
Answer; They wouldn't be able to find "Three Wise Men", or a VIRGIN!
"Florida was ranked the worst state in the 50 states by Thriller." Florida: Well, WE didn't want to give our oranges anyway!
Am I in Florida, bc i'm triggered.
what place is Flo Rida from, Florida
I play saxophone and I like to tell everyone I am a registered s/o (short for saxophone operator) in hopes of one day starting a jazz band, but now everyone looks at me weird, and when I go to house parties to perform, everyone hides their children, but little do they know I LOVE children. For some reason I got multiple restraining orders because I said “I want to touch the kids so they can one day become musicians themselves... like Michael Jackson”, I have then since moved from my hometown to Florida where I can meet up with other s/o’s, and surprisingly they have similar stories to me, but they say they have never even touched a saxophone, but they do like touching kids, which I’m all down for, just me and my buddies showing the new youth their abilities.
Update: i figured out what they meant by s/o is not the same as my s/o :(
Their are three states you don't mess with when trying to take over the United States:
Alaska because they have three times more guns than people because of the bears.
Texas because, well, it's Texas. Where else have all of the guns been going?
Lastly, Florida. Florida is the absolute definition of Trigger Happy Redneck.
