Short jokes
What did the pot say to the kettle?
"To lick the s*** spoon."
"I need help, George Sink," said Jimmy.
"What is it?" said George Sink.
"Can you wash my dishes?" said Jimmy.
JFK did a good job spreading around on his final speech.
Mosely in a white van.
What's the difference between you and Hitler?
Hitler knew when to kill himself.
Someone stole my toilet, and the police have nothing to go on.
I like my girls how I like my wine, 12 years locked in the basement.
What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Porsche?
I don't have a Porsche in the garage.
In Australia, my jokes are high koala-ty.
Knock knock. Who's there? Broken pencil. Broken pencil who? Never mind, it was pointless!
What noise does Sally like to say? Splat!
You know Sally? She's dead now.
What do you call a plane with no wings? Sally.
Touch Down.
What do you call a dog that can do magic?
A Labracadabrador.
Why did tube date electricity? Because he would light up when she touched him.
What do a coin and an Irish man have in common?
They're both fun to flip off.
What do you do with a dog that has no legs?
Take him for a drag.
Two pedophiles talking to each other:
"Do you got two fives for one ten?"
What is Beethoven's favorite fruit?
A Ba-na-na-na! (To the tune of Beethoven's 5th symphony)