Short jokes
What do you call a mushroom that makes music?
A decomposer.
What is the difference between 100 dead babies and a Mustang Challenger?
I don't have a Mustang Challenger in my garage.
Why did Sally fall out of the swing?
She had no arms.
Why couldn’t she get up?
Because she had no friends.
Kade
A Lew runs into a wall, what does he break? His Nose.
A Mexican runs into a wall, what does he break? His lawn mower.
Wife: I want to deep throat your dick.
Husband: let’s do this.
Wife: April foogjhmgkjgyukgyukfygkutkutkygfku5t!
I got a chicken drum stick for lunch, thought I might drum up an appetite!
What do you call a private nun?
Nun-o-yo-business.
Why was 6 scared of 7? Because 7 was a registered *sex* offender.
What's the difference between a pool and a toddler?
One doesn't scream when you go in dry ;)
Hey, I'm not forcing you to learn the Force.
Why are Muslims terrible at football?
Because every time they have a corner, they build a shop.
Stephen Hawking went on a date and came back with a broken leg. I can't believe she stood him up.
How do you kill a Catholic?
Crucify them...
Joke.
Did you hear about the mad who got his whole left side cut off? He's all right now.
What do you call vampire Matt Damon?
Bat Damon!
How long does it take for 10 dead babies to paint a wall? Depends how hard you throw them.
How do you punish Stevie Wonder for bad behavior?
You move all of the furniture around.
If I had a dollar for every gender, I would only have one dollar because women are objects and men are superior.