Short jokes

Short jokes

Me and my girlfriend were walking in the woods.

Her: I am scared!

Me: What do you think I feel? I have to walk back alone.

My girlfriend called me a cocksucker, but hey, 20 dollars is 20 dollars.

What is the difference between a pencil and a woman?

At least one has a point.

What is the difference between me and food?

Food has a use.

I called my guy friend a cock-sucker the other day. He replied with, "Hey, 20 bucks is 20 bucks."

Said the man angered to his wife:

"Now stop the damn suicide tries! Just look at the gas bill!?"

I told a girl she was cute, and she said, "Aw, tysm."

How does she know I have that?

Wanna know the last words of the south tower?

"HAHA LOOK AT YOU! IMAGINE BEING HIT YOU L BOZO!"

How many CIA agents does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

They don't need lightbulbs--they glow in the dark.

How do you get a party started in Africa?

You put a slice of bread on the ceiling and everyone will be jumping.

Joke: I went to a paraplegic strip club the other day, the place was crawling with pussy.

What do you call 2 nuns and a prostitute that play football?

Two tight ends and a wide receiver.