Short jokes
So I painted my laptop black, hoping it would run faster... Now it doesn't work.
Did you know that Jeffrey Dahmer was the first person to try Five Guys?
The adoption center threw a party. Why? 'Cause the parents weren't home.
- Sometimes I feel like killing myself...
- But?
- ...
Your hairline's so ugly, it turned Medusa to stone!
Let's play twin towers, your thighs are the towers and my penis is the plane, coming in between.
Toast is like parents.
If they are both black, you have nothing to eat.
When your girlfriend has been vomiting for 2 weeks and you find out she’s not pregnant.
Bf-*yes I knew it was a prank*
She has cancer.
How do you punish a blind person?
Hand them a gun and tell them it’s a hairdryer.
People definitely have the N-word pass in Africa.
What did Jesus say when he was left hanging on the cross?
"Well this is one hell of a way to spend my Easter vacation!"
It's always the little things that make us laugh.
what did Bruce Willis say after he had a vasectomy? "snip-y ki yay motherfucker"
I asked the librarian if the library had any books on paranoia.
She whispered, "They're right behind you!"
Me when I find my sister's diary: oooooo!
Your mum stinks of disabled people.
Wanna know why?
I don't know either, you tell me.
What did the Indians say to the Arabs? "We are going to make 10/12!"
When you accidentally turn in your suicide note instead of your essay to the teacher, but she still gives you an A.
What word starts with n and ends with r and you wouldn’t wanna call a Black person?
You really thought n****r, didn't you?
"Karma is the guy on the Chiefs, Coming straight home to me."