Short jokes
What’s a priest's favorite sport?
Golf, because most of the holes are less than 18.
What is the difference between a Mexican maid and a Jewish maid?
One of them won’t clean the oven.
What is the difference between Black people and coal?
It’s bad for the environment to burn coal.
What do you call a crowd of horny white women?
Cotton waiting to be picked.
I hooked up with my German girlfriend, but I kept on getting distracted when she kept yelling her age.
What is the worst thing about dating a blind woman?
Getting her husband's voice just right.
What’s the difference between a fly and Lady Diana?
The sound when they hit the windshield.
Why can’t you have a proper conversation with a gay person?
They’re never straight with you.
What’s one thing women need to know nowadays?
Their place.
I just prevented an 11-year-old from getting assaulted.
I decided to go home.
I feel bad for the kids at Sandy Hook. All they wanted was books, but got magazines instead.
Sex is like pizza.
When it’s hot, it’s great.
When it’s cold, it’s still pretty good.
Why do people hit their electronics when they don’t work?
You keep the tradition of hitting black things.
What do you call a black abortion clinic?
Crime Stoppers.
What song does Kobe Bryant hate?
"Rocky Mountain High."
Did you know Paul Walker was a method actor? He took his role very seriously as a human torch.
My son told me he wanted to be Batman when he grows up. That little shit wants to be gunned down in an alley.
Why are camels known as ships of the desert?
Because they’re full of Arab semen.
A blind kid was talking to me because he was getting bullied...
I told him, "Just tell them what you see!"
Why don't rappers struggle with geometry?
Because they have all the angles covered.