I told myself I needed to stop drinking so much. But I'm not about to start listening to some drunk weirdo who talks to themself.
I finally asked my deadbeat dad what makes him happy. His answer? He hasn't gotten back to me.
What is the difference between the pizza guy and my dad?
The pizza guy shows up when you call him.
Your dad is so smart, he took one look at you and left.
Why do so many kids love boomerangs? Because they always come back.
Knock, knock.
"Who's there?"
Not your dad.
Why do some kids only experience 364 days per year?
Because they don't have a Father's Day.
What do you call headphones that walk out on their children? Deadbeats.
What is the best thing about being back?
Free bullets.
Justice for all!
My Chinese friend died recently, So Yung.
69.
How can one make Death Row a little more fun?
Musical electric chairs.
Knock, knock.
(Who’s there?)
It’s the police, ma’am, your son got hit by a drunken driver. He’s dead.
My 2 year old Asian baby cant do calculus Look who in sweatshop now
If certain diseases spread in water, why does Africa have them?
The snack that smiles back: Ball sack.
If you scanned my thigh, it would show up as a package of Oreos on the screen.
There was a kid crying. I asked him where his parents were. He cried more. Orphanages are really fun to work at.
(6x9)+6+9=69
