Short jokes
Me: Sister, are you wearing makeup?
My sister wearing all the world's makeup.
Sister: Just a little.
Are you winter? Because you will be coming soon.
Are you a haunted house?
Cuz I am gonna be screaming when I come inside you.
Are you a horse, because I want to ride you?
What do you call a man with farts?
DEEZ NUTS!
MVP means: “Most Valuable Player.”
In Chuck Norris' case: “Most Vaginas Penetrated”.
What is it called when an art teacher has a heart attack?
An art attack!
What does a woman’s pussy and a chainsaw have in common?
Miss by a few inches and you’re in deep shit.
Where do math teachers go on vacation? Times Square.
(sorry in advance this joke is brutal)
What has 12 heads and 24 eyes?
The bin at the back of the abortion clinic.
I once had an emo friend doing a course for the marines. He made the cut.
Have you ever heard of emo pizza?
It cuts itself!
What's the difference between Jordan and George Floyd? Jordan had air.
Why can’t you kidnap an orphan?
Because you can’t steal what was never wanted in the first place.
What do you call a basement full of SJW's?
A whine cellar.
Those poor kids at Sandy Hook, all they wanted was books. Instead, they got magazines.
Will my suicidal thoughts leave me too if I get attached to them?
Penis, neck, rope?
Yo mama so fat, Thanos had to snap twice.
Children are like a box of Christmas decorations. I keep them in my basement until it’s time to hang them from a tree.