Short jokes
What looks like half a cat?
The other half.
Banana!
What do you call a kid with Down syndrome trying to beat Minecraft?
“A sped runner.”
Top 1 best football player 🏈 in the world.
“The guy who tackles the Make-A-Wish kid!”
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What do Hiroshima and Nagasaki share in common with balls?
They both drop.
How do you keep a blind kid entertained?
You take him to a stadium crowd, then give him a bat and tell him to hit the piñata.
How do you get an orphan's hands to bleed?
Tell him to clap until his parents come home!
Why do orphans want to be communist?
So they would have a motherland.
Why did the orphan fail all his classes?
He couldn’t do his homework.
Why can't orphans play video games?
Because they don't have their parent's email.
Why couldn't the emo kid hang himself?
After eating through his feelings, the belt wouldn't fit around his neck.
Taking an emo kid grocery shopping does have its perks... You get to scan their wrists for discounts!
The Twin Towers were like a woman stuck in the washer machine. They both got freed.
What do JFK’s killer and a prostitute have in common?
“They both blow heads.”
Why is no one friends with Dracula? Because he's a pain in the neck.
What's the easiest way to get straight A's? Use a ruler.
My teachers told me I'd never amount to much because I procrastinate so much.
I told them, "Just you wait!"
What do you call a pile of kittens? A meowntain.
My career is worth more than your adoption.