Short jokes
I know a Chinese joy rider, Tommy Tookamotor.
P1: What's the difference between a kid and a hooker?
P2: I don't know.
P1: Wow, you sick fuck!
What do you call a rabbit with a crooked dick?
Fucks funny.
"Hey, what's the Russian president's name?" "Putin?" "Yeah, Putin deez nuts in yo mouth!"
What's the difference between a violinist and a dog?
The dog knows when to stop scratching.
What do you call a dwarf that fell into a cement mixer?
A wee hard man.
A customer asked me to look at their hairline. I time traveled back to the dinosaurs.
What do teen mothers and their unborn babies have in common?
They're both thinking "Oh my God, my mom's gonna kill me!"
Pooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.
Your mama is so ugly even Dora can't explore her.
Your mama so ugly she went by a TV and missed eight episodes.
What's the difference between Mars and Africa? Mars has water.
What do you call a fucked up mullet? A fullet.
Your forehead so big you got to go outside to think.
Your forehead so big you got to take Tylenol pills, big like chocolate chip cookies.
Your forehead is so big, if you fell, you would knock out your whole state cold.
Your forehead is so big you can smoke a cigar in the rain.
Why can orphans never go to the shops?
'Cause the Talibans will plane dive into them.
Your forehead is so big that it couldn’t handle an acute angle.
Who discovered shrimp were edible?
Probably the same one who invented the blowjob.