Short jokes
Children are like a box of Christmas decorations. I keep them in my basement until it’s time to hang them from a tree.
Sike, I lied, your Minecraft account is mine!
What do computer programming and 9/11 have in common?
They're both inside jobs.
What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino?
Answer: Elephino.
I was sweating like Michael Jackson in a Chuck E. Cheese.
Why was Jesus Christ cut from the hockey team?
He kept getting nailed to the boards.
What does an orphan have that a homeless person doesn’t?
A home, but what does a homeless person have that orphans don’t?
A parent.
Why did Nicholas Cage and Angelina Jolie attend Paul Walker’s funeral?
He went from "The Fast and the Furious" to "Gone in 60 Seconds."
"I'm the big man, catching the kids in my big van." - Ben 2021
Hey JFK, what would you do if you were in a fight?
JFK: Well, I'd give them a piece of my mind.
I woke up today, and my mom said it was 1940.
Me: Man, I wish my clothes were emo.
Friend: Why?
Me: So they would hang themselves.
A man goes to a motel room and sees a woman tied up and she said, "Help me please!" He had to do some forceful thinking.
I need a new butt. This one has a hole in it.
What do 3-year-old boys say after going to confession?
"My bum hurts!"
Why wasn't Michael Jackson admitted to college? He refused to declare a major; he only wanted to do minors.
Jesus is great because Jesus is good. Amen.
I want to date depression cuz at least I know they won't leave me.
Why is a ketchup bottle like a kid? Cause they're like, "Squirt!" (squirt ketchup).
Fraser smells.