Short jokes
So my friend died. I was at her casket. I said I'll see you on the other side, so I went to the other side of the casket.
Q. Why was the orphan unable to use the phone?
A. He was trying to phone home.
Why can't disabled people make jokes?
Well, it's called Stand-Up comedy, isn't it?
I feel sad for orphans. They can't watch Star Wars because it's parental guidance.
We should bully foster parents more for raising parent-less nobodies.
Bullying orphans is like bullying the homeless kid; both cry when you make fun of their parents.
There are two types of people in Alabama: the orphans and the incests.
Dark humor jokes about orphans are funny because no parents are gonna be told.
Q. What's an orphan's favorite South Park episode?
A. The anti-Family Guy episode.
I wanted to fall off a cliff, sadly, there aren't any cliffs near my house.
What's the difference between a nuclear reactor and your step sis? You need to use protection for the nuclear reactor.
I'm so excited for Christmas Pudding... Pudding these nuts in your mouth.
Have you heard of Imagine Dragons (the band)? Imagine dragging these nuts across your face.
What's the difference between a tornado and a divorce down south?
Nothing. Someone's losing a trailer.
What is the similarity between orphans and apples?
They both get thrown out.
Why can't orphans operate Apple devices?
Because they don't know how to use the home button.
I wish that people would stop mailing jokes about Kobe Bryant. Guys, all they do is crash and burn!
What does every arsehole and Tory have in common?
They all produce horrible shit.
Heyyy, in the last six months, [I had] 4 suicide attempts, broke up with 3 girls, and my mom went on drugs.
What's worse than a failed attempt at suicide?
The pity looks people give you and people keep you away from 'dangerous' things.