Short jokes

"September 11th plane driving classes for free."

What did the bones on the moon tell the astronaut?

The cow never made it.

What's a chicken's deadliest day?

Friday.

Why do ducks have feathers?

To cover their butt quacks!

What's the difference between a dead baby and an orange?

I don't keep a trash bag full of oranges in my basement.

Person 1: Yassin has sex with a piece of sex.

Person 2: Nice, can I have some of your balls?

If a crippled man told stories about himself, would that be called VeggieTales?

What do you say after making fun of a disabled person?

"Sorry, I didn't mean to step on your toes."

I hate long plants. They make me Ivysaur. Hahahahahahaha Pokemon!

Are you a Pikachu?

Because you are SHOCKINGLY beautiful!

Pokemon

You must be a Charmander. Because you’re making me hot.

Pokemon.

I bought my son a wheelchair for his birthday—turns out he couldn’t get in it.

Go up to an orphan and say: "Yer ma is deed."

How did the Germans conquer Poland so fast? They marched in backwards and the Polish people thought they were leaving.

If there's ever a shooting at school, pull out an Uno reverse card.

My dad told me and my sister to stop arguing, so I threw her out the window instead.

So little Johnny was walking to the bathroom, and he said, "Grandma," said, "why is the blood coming out of your ###😥 I need to call help."

Guess what that is and it’s explosive. The end looks like <>

Hi, I'm Depraashin.

Hi, I'm rope. May I hang with you guys?

I told a blonde she needed gas for her car, and she farted into the gas tank.