Short jokes
Why did Tigger look in the toilet?
He was looking for "poo."
What is long, hard, and has cum in it?
A cucumber.
What's the artist imagine something?
Imagine Dragons!
Imagine draggin' these nuts across your face!
"Hey babe!"
She's so fat that when she steps onto a wood floor, the floorboard doesn't creak, it screams: "Goddamn!!!" before it snaps from the weight.
Why buy a pregnant slave over a normal slave? Buy 1 get 1 free. 😂😂😂😂
What did Satin say to God??
"Bitch, what the fuck you looking at?"
When your cousin who has a lisp died from the impostor in Among Us,
"THE IMPASTA KILLED MEH!"
What's the one thing that you don't have but celebrities do?
Lots of fans.
Question: Why does my teenage brother wear a cape to bed?
Answer: Because he can't sleep in his race car bed...
Dad joke.
Why does a dad get more than a pair of socks at the golf course?
Because of a hole in one!
The cashier kicked me out because when he asked for 99 cents, I gave him 99 scents.
Why can't you have a tall dog? You will have pups in a week.
Why can't orphans play soccer? Because they can't practice with their dad.
Go to an orphanage and tell a kid his parents came back.
What's the best part about a dead prostitute?
The second hour is free.
Why are there no guns in China? They might do some "ting wong!"
Robin Williams' death was the most horrible impression ever given. (RIP Robin Williams, you will be missed!)
For all the Harry Potter fans:
A VPN is occlumency for smart devices, and our ISP is a legilimens.
One of my students asks, "Can I have a bookmark?"
A year of school and they still don't know my name is Danny.