Short jokes
You're so dumb that every time you use the bathroom, you use your shoe to wipe your ass.
Q: Name a murderer?
A: Jews: Hitler. Russians: Stalin. Chinese: Mao. Americans: Bin Laden. Aborted fetus: My mom.
Jesus said to his disciples, "Go forth and ye shall receive eternal life." Thomas came fifth, however, so he only got a toaster.
Q: Name a murderer?
Aborted fetus: My mum.
Yo wsp?
Johnny eats a lot of ham, so he catches lots of spam.
If you kayak with a cap on and the kayak capsizes, whether or not the cap falls off depends on the cap size.
Why can't people with Tourette's learn to drive?
Because they'll cause a car crash.
Why does the basketball never get a date?
Because they dribble.
"Yol, what do you think about sex?"
"Good."
What do you think about the game "Fortnite?"
Shit.
Why are orphans so scared of the dark?
The dad can't check the closet for them.
Is Gwen still on this app thing?
Maybe if I fall in love with my depression, it'll leave me too.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they don't know where home is.
Why did the baker's hands smell of shit?
He kneaded a turd.
Why did the student cannibal rush to the cafeteria?
He wanted to eat ahead of the others.
Any food an orphan has is a family-sized meal.
Why can’t orphans go on school field trips?
[Parent’s signature: __________]
I remember I met an orphan. He asked, "Can I suck your thumb?" I said, "Why?" Because "that'd be pig."