Short jokes

One day every kid at the orphanage got coal for Christmas. It was the second worst day of their lives.

When rejected:

That's ok, the 3 other little pigs said no, too.

What movie do orphans hate? The Fast and the Furious.

Do you know how many women have been pope?

Nun.

Why can't Helen Keller drive?

Because she is a girl.

Me: Hey, say I am ugly for a billion pounds.

Them: You're ugly.

Me: Sorry, I am not a mirror.

Man, I had a joke, but it left and never came back.

What is a gay school boy's favorite grade?

D+.

My brother called me short and ugly, so I called him an ambulance.

So I was being robbed, and this guy had the gun to my head, so I told him he was holding it backwards.

I would curse at you, but my country praises cows.

What would the main character from Martin Scorsese's Taxi Driver be named if he was a Mexican?

Travis Spick-le.

What's a dumbfuck's favorite condiment to put on his burger?

Re-tarter sauce.

What do you call people who have an Oedipus complex?

Motherfuckers.

"Sir, in court, all your answers must be oral, okay?"

"Ok."

"What town did you grow up in?"

"Oral."

Why do crack heads like to do it doggy style?

So one can peep out window and one can peep on floor.

So Jessie Waters goes on TV without a gallon of hair gel. Oh wait, never mind!

Girl: Hi (flirt)

Boy: Hi? (reluctant)

Girl: I'm a cheerleader captain, I'm also single (flirt).

Boy 2: Excuse me?! He's MY MAN...

Girl: I like girls.

Dad: Ok?

Girl 2: I like girls too.

Dad: Okay, so who likes boys?!

Boy: I do.

Me: Gay puns are the best!

Also me: But I'm straight though.