Short jokes
When is rape normal?
When it's called an unplanned pregnancy.
How is the weather down there?
I once put the Bible in the fiction section.
Orphans are the best targets for bullying, since who are they gonna cry to? Their parents?
Why did the Italian cross the road?
C'era un uliveto.
Why is Russia invading Ukraine?
«Мы хотим вернуть Советский Союз!»
Your mother is so fat, she doesn’t need...
What’s the similarity between a broken pencil and my life? They’re both pointless.
If you ever become depressed, try drinking a gallon of water before going to sleep... That'll give you a reason to get up in the morning.
How long does it take for a depressed person to change a light bulb?
5 days. & I’m pretty proud of myself.
What's the difference between a depressed person and a pizza?
Pizza won't cut itself.
Why did the joke cross the street?
People: Stop invading Ukraine!
Putin: Ukraine? you mean Mykraine.
If an old person tells you what to do just say, "At least my parents are alive!"
How to commit arson:
1. Burn down an orphanage.
I asked a man if I was the fastest gun in the west. He said my 17 wasn't good enough. After that, a lot of lead went into his head.
As tragic as school shootings are, it's also a quick way to a late-term abortion.
A lot of people ask why I only make jokes about Paul Walker and no one else.
Because they didn’t have as big of an impact as him.
My first name is Al and my last name is Coholic :) #yuengling.f/wat
Bisexuals aren’t gay.
Bisexuals aren’t straight.
They’re graight! 😂