Short jokes
What’s an emo's favorite singer?
Slash.
Why are Christmas trees banned at the mental hospital?
They would hang themselves like ornaments.
What do the people in heaven that died on the Titanic call the Titanic? The Dietanic.
Why should you be friends with emos? Because you get to scan their bar code for 20% off, and when it expires, they get rid of themselves.
If Will Smith had a revolver and said, "Who fucked my wife?" Chris Rock would say, "You don't have enough bullets, mate."
I hated getting bullied in school because I could never stand up for myself.
What do me and Monster cans have in common? A barcode.
Where do T. Rexes shop? Dino-stores.
Yo mama so fat that every time she takes a swim, the Arctic sinks by a mile!
My friend told me to make more friends, so I joined a suicide cult.
I’ll be hanging with them for a while.
What’s the difference between a normal kid and an Emo?
When you feel an Emo's arm, there’s lots of texture! Feels great, too!
I got jealous when my phone dies.
I would like to call you as dumb as a rock, but they can hold a door open.
I got a sister.
That was a big mistake.
Me: Mom, can I have some makeup?
Mom: No. You are beautiful just the way you are.
Me: So that’s why you wear makeup?
What do we want? Racecar noises!
When do we want them? NEOWWWWW!
What is the difference between a hooker and a feminist?
If you want a hooker to be a bitch, you have to give her money first.
"Simon says touch your chin."
The fat people be like, "Which one?"
Why was the emo kid sad? Because his bar code expired.
Ya ever think about the twin towers plan?
Me neither. It all came crashing down.