Short jokes
If a man is willing to try his hardest to give you the moon and stars, then ladies, you should be willing to give up Uranus.
Went swimming today and peed in the deep end. The lifeguard saw me and blew his whistle so loud I almost fell in.
God died for your sins, so basically if you don't sin then Jesus died for nothing.
I have the brains of an old man and the heart of a child. If you don't believe me, I can pop my trunk.
At baseball practice...
"Hey John, did you bring the bucket of balls?"
"No, but I got two right here."
Why did Helen Keller sign the n-word?
She thought she was black.
The emo was having computer problems because they had troubleshooting.
You say to your slow friend: "Damn, you're slower than Stephen Hawking!" And that takes some talent.
What did the depressed kid do in P.E.? They played with the jump rope, but they used it the wrong way.
I can go to Walmart and scan my wrists. It'll say "antidepressants." ✨
Sonic says: "Gotta go fast!"
The Hulk SMASH!
Orphan says: "Gotta go home!"
Feed the hungry with the hungry. It solves world hunger and overpopulation at once!
Innit.
Your hairline can fit a truck without touching either side.
How to make an orphan's feet bleed? Make them run in place until their parents get them.
This boy's eyebrow was so bushy, everyone thought that it was a squirrel tail! XD
Why do orphans hate geometry? Cuz it reminds them that their parents are poley-gone.
Babies are like airstrikes; they get aborted.
AB💿
Opinions are like orgasms. The only one that matters is mine and I don't care if you have one.