Short jokes
Suicidal thoughts aren’t nice, but nor is life. So why not get them both done and over with?
What do George Washington and a beaver have in common?
They both have eyes.
These jokes are so dark that their life matters.
Kobe would still be alive if he would have gone to jail for raping that girl.
What do you call a bunch of white guys sitting on a bench?
The NBA.
My dad went for the milk, but he left his wheelchair.
The Twin Towers traded planes with Afghanistan. The only thing is Afghanistan got scammed.
Why do you like cream instead of bugs?
Because bugs can kill you.
What is a photographer's favorite card game?
SNAP!
Why did the chief go to jail?
Because he beat the eggs and whipped the cream!
I hope Stephen Hawking was an organ donor, 'cause I need some parts for my go-cart.
What do you call a deaf person?
Whatever you want!
What type of candy does the most magic?
Twix!
Your forehead is so big you can headbutt my face and chest at the same time.
What is the difference between a puppy and a fork?
I don’t microwave forks.
What is the best la?
A koa-la!
What is the difference between a detective company and a man with eyes on his butt?
One has a private eye, and the other has eyed privates.
Why don’t witches wear underwear?
To get a better grip on their broom.
The 3 life rules:
1.
2.
3.
Oh, there are no rules, because you have no life.
Why are cows such great dancers?
They have all the best moooves!