Short jokes
Someone who was working in the tower must've put their phone on plane mode.
I did this to my ex. I stole her wheelchair. I knew she would come crawling back.
According to a recent poll, your mother said, "I like the guy who saw the guy who doesn't have a brain!"
Why doesn't the orphan have a nationality?
He doesn't have a motherland.
Our hairline goes way back before dinosaurs lived.
Vape company: Hey, want some lung cancer and a nicotine addiction?
Teens: NO WAY!
Vape company: But it’s mango flavored!
Teens: O OK. 😤
A guy stole my car last night. Before dialing 911 I thought, "Fuck it. Let him explain the dead bodies in the trunk."
I was tickling my step brother's balls, and then it hit me: why is he laughing?
Q. What walks through alleys and has a hole in it?
A. Batman's parents.
What is a necrophile's least favorite game?
The Walking Dead.
What do you call a wheelchair person with a gun? Special ops.
The best way to tell someone that you don't like them is by texting them "370HSSV 0773H" and tell them to read it upside down.
What do girls and noodles have in common?
They both wiggle when you eat them.
If you drop something, make your short friend get it.
I was gonna make a joke about Mexicans but honestly, it crosses the line.
You're just big and good.
Why can't America play chess?
There are missing two towers.
What's the best cheese in the world?
Dick cheese.
I'm so emo, my blood is black.
When I wear all black, I'm not emo. I'm a rainbow, 'cause I'm wearing all the colors. #Science