Short jokes
My wife says sex is even better on holiday. I wish she didn’t tell me via email.
Man: How do you prepare your chicken?
Waiter: Nothing special, we just tell them they’re going to die.
I don't like Twin Tower jokes. They always tend to crash and burn.
My friend said, "Where is the trash?" I said, "Look in the mirror, there is the trash."
What do you call an orphan's family tree?
A stump.
The 🦅 asked the female eagle, "What did you eat?"
"I ate New York hot dogs."
Why does fireman wear red suspenders?
To hold his pants up.
Ayo fake guy.
WTF?
Say the drive through at McDonald's, order (don't say the sake) but when you get it ask them, "My sake?" and say, "Sake that ass."
Knock knock. Who's there? Colin! Colin who? Colonisation!
Just kidding, colonisers don't knock before they come in.
Princess Peach is a BUM!
What position would a man with no legs and arms play in baseball?
Home base.
What is the difference between Superman and an emo kid? Superman can actually land.
Why can’t orphans go to the hospital? The front desk always asks, “Where are your parents?”
I saw a little girl crying, and I said, "Where are your parents?" That day, I got fired from the orphanage. 🤪
Why can’t an orphan go to a youth church? Because they need a parent to pick them up.
How do you make Olaf hard? You tickle his snowballs.
Yo mama so fat that when she went to take a crap... she couldn't even take a crap!
What happens to Freedom Towers if they got hit? They stepped in Ground Zero.