Opposition jokes
What's the opposite of Christopher Walken?
Christopher Reeve.
You walk into an area that has big asses on the wall, and they feel lifelike, so you put your dick into them, and you go on the opposite side of the wall, and women are naked through the wall.
One weekend some distant family members that I hadn't met before came over. My cousins (who I also hadn't met before) were fighting, so I decided to separate them and place them in opposite corners of the room (thinking it would help).
My mom took me to an empty room with tears in her eyes and told me they both ended up dying.
Well, SO-RRY, but I didn't know they were conjoined twins.
What’s the opposite of poo?
My mom told me to help her with the laser, but it was opposite day, so I pushed her down.
She said help, so I kicked her.
Q: How do you know when someone is an opposition leader to Putin?
A: When they are falling from their balcony.
Chuck Norris is the opposite to Oliver Savage.
Chuck Norris once won a race against Usain Bolt, running in the opposite direction around the track, blindfolded, on one foot.
A man was having a dream. He dreamt about a mystical creature that was commonly known as the god of toast.
When the man woke up, he turned to tell his wife about the dream. When he delivers the "toast god" punchline, his wife shrugged as she faced the opposite direction to the man.
The man turned around also and started sobbing as he realised his marriage is in shambles.
What is the opposite of salt water?
Pepper water.
A girl tried 77.34 (77.34) times to think of a word opposite of BYE. Then her brother divided the word BYE. 77.34 divided by 100. TRY IT!!
I think my butt looks flat, but my boyfriend seems to think the opposite. I told him to be deadass with me.
What is the opposite of a lady finger?
Answer: Mentos.
What’s the opposite of Stephen Hawking? Stephen walking.
What's the opposite of Jason?
Jasister.
What does one orphan say to another orphan on Opposite Day? "Do you want to go home?"
Why did the democrats come out of the closet as assholes after they found out that Rush Limbaugh died? Because they don't fear him anymore.
College is the opposite of kidnapping. They demand $100,000 from you, or they'll send your kid back.
What’s the opposite of an exorcism?
It’s when Satan has to tell the priest to come out of the child.
The only reason gay people exist is because they couldn't get the opposite gender.