Sex jokes
Roses are red, violets are blue,
I fucked a chimpanzee behind my local zoo.
I used to be a man in a woman’s body. And then I was born.
You know what's the most awkward situation in the world? A rapper with erectile dysfunction.
What's the difference between a blowjob and cough syrup?
They can both give you relief and make you gag at the same time.
Whoever said men will f**k anything that moves is *dead* wrong.
Yeah, she called me "Pledge" because I knocked the dust off it.
I suck my dick.
Imagine everyone being hoes.
What’s the difference between 69 and High School?
In 69 you usually only kiss one c*nt and look at one a**hole.
I had morning wood one day. Then my sister saw it and said, "I can help!"
If I fuck you harder, you have to scream "daddy," but what happens when you cum?
I saw a girl at my job and we ended up fucking, then the test came back and I have hives from my sister.
Spare.
You got a spare, spare me an inch of that far juicy cock.
How do you recycle a condom? Turn it inside out and shake the f *ck out of it!
Now I know what my priest meant by the second coming!
How do you know if your sister's on her period?
Your dad's dick tastes funny.
What's worse than fingering your sister?
Finding your dad's wedding ring inside her.
I tried having a three-way with two physicists, but they couldn't solve the three-body problem.
Why did the sperm cross the road?
Because he put the wrong sock was put on.
Hehe.
Why is life like penises?
Women make it hard.
What do you call a thirsty girl?
An H2Hoe.