Sex jokes
Your penis is literally BLUE!
This is not even a joke, it's a serious question... Is eating ass considered cannibalism?
There are only two genders.
Why don’t old people have sex?
When was the last time you tried pulling apart a grilled cheese that old?
Want to know how to fit 71 people in a car? Two in the front while we handle 69 in the back.
My girlfriend passed away recently.
At the funeral, everyone was shocked about it.
Still, even when dead, she is the best shag I've ever known.
What’s the difference between a drug dealer and a prostitute?
A prostitute only has one crack, and has to wash it and sell it again.
A little boy and a little girl were taking a bath.
The little girl looked down and said, "What's that?"
"That's my little red sports car," said the little boy.
The little boy looked down and said, "What's that?"
"That's my little red sports car garage," said the little girl.
A few seconds later, the little girl said, "How about you put your little red sports car in my little red sports car garage?"
"Sure," said the little boy.
The little boy's mother was downstairs and heard this blood curdling scream. She ran upstairs. Once she got there, she saw blood all over the bathtub. "What happened?!" she said.
"Well, Johnny tried to put his little red sports car in my little red sports car garage...but it didn't fit...so I cut the back wheels off..."
Zaine Davis and Stephen Hawking fuck each others brains out.
I like my women the way I like my sandwiches... A little meat between their buns.
There are multiple. That’s the joke.
Why don’t orphans have sex?
Because they have no one to call “daddy.”
Woman: Doctor, doctor, I've been raped.
Doctor: Sex is good for you!
A married couple are on holiday in Italia. They look at the Leaning Tower of Pisa. He says: - Look, honey, this tower is crookedly standing! She: - Shut up!
(Standing means: penis erection)
When you are f***ing your girlfriend and then she tells you that you f**k like your guys' dad.
Then you f**k your mom and she says the same thing.
What do you call a whore with a runny nose?
...Full!
What does a dead baby look like?
I don't know, I close my eyes when I masturbate.
Leukophobic people don’t have sex. Leukophobia is the fear of white.
If they made a movie about your sex life, what would it be?
In Afghanistan, it would be "Twelve Years a Slave!" 🤣
What's the difference between a Lambo and a boner?
Your sister didn't give me a Lambo.