Sex jokes
Little Johnny is with his dad behind a garbage truck when a dildo thumps the windshield.
To protect Little Johnny's innocence, he says, "That was an insect."
Little Johnny replies, "I'm surprised it could get off the ground with a cock like that!"
What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree?
Hold on to your nuts, this ain't no ordinary blow job!
How can you tell if your husband is dead?
The sex is the same, but you get to use the remote.
Unfortunately, I had bad luck and faced infidelity.
Picture this: the bedroom door opens and I see my girlfriend in bed with two men...
I didn’t expect her to come back so early.
Your mom has quite the mouth on her.
As I found out last night. Oh, what a night!! 😏 😉 😜
Memes
Your mom's ass is so petite and big, I'd pound that till the Earth shakes.
Your mom gave me a three course meal last night:
Starters - Foreplay
Main course - Reverse Cowgirl
Dessert - Blowy
Won't forget the side drink of an individual on individual bukkake.
We aren't ghosts, but I'll take you under the sheets.
Why are black men's eyes always red after sex?
From the mace.
What do you call a guy who loves to eat out a hoe's pussy?
Answer: a Carnivwhore.
What do priests give children?
Syphilis.
What does the word circumcise mean?
Cut off a boy's or a man's dick, or cut off a girl's or a woman's foreskin.
What do orgasms and impulses have in common?
I don’t care if they have either of them.
What comes after 69?
Period.
What’s the difference between a nun and a hooker?
One kneels for salvation.
The other kneels with salivation.
What’s something you can say at the funeral but also in bed?
"Damn, that's really stiff!"
What does broccoli and sex have in common?
If you were forced to have it as a kid, you’re gonna hate it as an adult.
What's the difference between three cocks and a joke?
Your mom can't take a joke.
What did the man who had sex with an Instagram model in the reverse cowgirl position while going 90 on the freeway get charged for?
Driving under the influencer.
How is [someone] blessed with a 9 inch dick?
That priest is in jail now. Shout out to the church!