Sex jokes
I love sucking on food because if you really think about it, tits can be counted as food, so I could technically suck on a woman's tits.
What's common between the penis and a Rubik's cube?
Both get hard when we play with them.
Another condom name is "Orphan's Home."
What do you call a giraffe giving a blow job to another giraffe?
Getting neck!
What do a pulse and an orgasm have in common?
I don’t care if she has one.
I saw a girl at my job and we ended up fucking, then the test came back and I have hives from my sister.
If I fuck you harder, you have to scream "daddy," but what happens when you cum?
I had morning wood one day. Then my sister saw it and said, "I can help!"
How do you recycle a condom? Turn it inside out and shake the f *ck out of it!
My mom told me to go to bed, but then I grabbed a drink and went in their room to say goodnight, and they looked like Adam and Eve on steroids!
What does a Rubik's cube and a penis have in common?
The more you play with it, the harder it gets.
A penis has a sad life.
His hair is a mess. His family is nuts. His neighbor is an asshole. His best friend is a pussy, and his owner beats him. That's it for now.
What does Amy Rose like? Blue balls.
Who's in my ass?
Your sister.
What's the difference between sex and gender?
You can't have gender with your sister.
Why did the orphan girl cry during sex?
Because her boyfriend said "Who's your daddy?"
BAJAHAHAHHAA
What do you do if your dick is smoking?
Get your mum to lick it.
How do you know if your sister's on her period?
Your dad's dick tastes funny.
What's worse than fingering your sister?
Finding your dad's wedding ring inside her.
You know what's the most awkward situation in the world? A rapper with erectile dysfunction.
Herpes? No, I don't want her. Her pees.