Sex jokes

I tried to have phone sex once.

But the holes were too small.

You look at it. You tug on it like a shoe string. You play with it like elastic bubble plastic, but it still never grows.

What did the leper say to the hooker? "You can keep the tip."

Why didn't the opening photo actually have a pic of sex on it? I have always wanted to see porn, too bad I have parents and a school Chromebook.

My girlfriend asked, "Why is this test so long and hard?"

I then said, "You know what else is long and hard..."

She was amazed!

My penis is so polite. It stands up so girls can sit down.

One time I fucked this chick so hard, she almost came back to life.

Kaleb: Addison, are you okay???

Addison: Not at all. People think I'm annoying and stupid! Do you?

Kaleb: Yes, once I pound you in the ass.

A sister went to her brother's room and says,

"I'm scared, can I sleep with you?"

"Yes, sis."

"What is this?" (pointing at his dick)

"My pet snake."

"Can I pet it?"

"Yes."

He wakes up in a hospital.

"What happened?"

"Your snake spit on me, so I bit his head off."

"You dummy!"

"Whaaat?"

There's only one reason our Education Minister is standing by this curriculum.

In her religion, you NEVER pull out.

What should people do with their floppy dicks?

I give them a good wiggle waggle to raise awareness of something!

Why did my [redacted] a girl because she said, "Uh."

I fucked a wall.

This ole boy picked up this hooker and was getting some head driving down the road, and she started gagging on it a little, and he said, "Oh yeah baby, you like that big dick, don't ya?" and she said, "Oh baby, it's not that, ya asshole stinks!"

Roses are red, violets are purple, lay in my bed so I can suck your nurple.

I've been taking Viagras for sunburn.

It keeps the sheets off my bed at night!

I love eating Hisoka's big, fat, juicy c*ck.

What's the difference between a boy and girl? A boy always carries an average 5in "do not enter" sign.

What's the best thing about a prostitute dying on you during sex?

The second hour is free.

Roblox Brookhaven be like:

"ABC if you wanna be adopted."

"ABC if you wanna be my friend."

"ABC if you wanna be a banker."

"ABC if you wanna rob the bank."

"ABC if you wanna date."

"ABC if you wanna sex."