Sex jokes
You like to draw? Because I like the MD, raw :)
My wiener's small.
What is the difference between a nun and a hooker?
One makes you believe in Heaven, the other makes you feel it.
What do you call the penises of gay men that are in wheelchairs?
Meals on wheels 😋😍🌭🌭🌭🌭🌭
Jack and Jill went up the hill so Jack could lick her candy, but Jack got a shock and a mouthful of cock because Jill’s real name was Randy.
Roses are red, violets are purple, lay in my bed so I can suck your nurple.
There was one girl. She met 5000 guys. She had sex with each of them seven times. She became... - flip screen (=).
What can a dwarf do standing up that a tall person can't do standing up?
Give a blowjob.
Why can't an orphan have sex?
Because they can't call them "daddy."
A guy on a bus saw a beautiful girl. He asked for her number, and of course, she said no. He asked the bus driver for advice, and he said, "That girl goes to the cemetery to pray every day at 10 p.m. and look for a statue of an angel." So he dresses up as God, goes to the grave, and she sees him. She says, "Oh, Lord, end my misery! Kill me now!" And he said, "Only if you do something for me first." She replied, "What is it, oh mighty Lord?" He said, "Have sex with me." She agreed. They had sex, and when she was done sucking his dick, he said, "I have something to tell you." He took off his costume and said, "I'm the guy from the bus." And she took off her costume: "I'm the bus driver."
(Does anyone remember this? It's an old joke someone made, or does no one remember this? I didn't make this, but it went smth like this)
"Can we do 69?"
"How about 9/11 because we're going to crash tonight?"
Men wake up with a boner.
Women wake up yawning.
Coincidence?
What's the best thing about a prostitute dying on you during sex?
The second hour is free.
Tongue Trick Sex: The Movie.
Not coming soon!
What do you call a necrophiliac gangbang?
Cracking open a cold one with the boys.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana. Jack got high and touched Jill's thigh and said, "I know you wanna." Jill said yes, took off her dress, and then they had some fun. But silly Jill forgot her pills, and now they have a son.
The best part of you ran down your mother's leg... Einstein got ready to climax while doing math but realized you can't cumtilyain cumtilion. It's after sucktillion fucktillion.
What does a pulse and an orgasm have in common? I don't care if she has one.
I suck my dick.
A man comes home and hears his wife talking about having sex at the club. The man busts into the club with a revolver and says, "WHO TF FUCKED MY WIFE?" Well, everyone looks over and is quiet, and someone in the back says, "Mate, you don't have enough bullets."