Sex jokes
Brother: "I can hear you using the vibrator every night, I’m right here if you need help."
Sister: "That’s my f***ing electric toothbrush!"
Brother: "Oh, well the offer still stands."
Vagina jokes aren't funny.
Most of the time.
What do you call two transgender midgets having sex?
A microtransaction.
What starts off fun and ends in bankruptcy?
UNPROTECTED SEX.
What do physically handicapped gay men do after they are done belching? They wipe their mouths on their light blue handkerchiefs after they are done sucking cocks.
Jack and Jill went up a hill to smoke some marijuana. Jack got high, pulled down his fly, and said, "Jill do you wanna?" Jill said yes, pulled up her dress, and then they had some fun. But stupid Jill forgot the pill so now they have a son.
What did the sex offender frog say to the other sex offender frog when a hot frog passed them?
Rrrrrapeit!
Q: What does a dead prostitute and a swimming pool have in common?
A: They're both cold when you first get in, but warm up after a few strokes.
A priest and a rabbi are walking down the street, and they come to a kid playing in a sandbox. The priest says, "Hey, you wanna go screw that kid?"
To which the rabbi replies, "Out of what?"
Did you hear about the blind prostitute?
Well, you gotta hand it to her.
Lost my virginity to a down syndrome the other day... only cause I wanted my first time to be special.
Billy: "I'm so used to having you in bed with me, I don't know if I'm ready for this long-distance relationship."
Sally: "Ohh, don't worry brother, I'll just be right down the hall..."
How is sex like air? It’s not a big deal unless you aren’t getting any.
I was blessed with a 9 inch penis.
The priest is in jail now.
One night, I saw a woman sitting behind a dumpster. So I took her home. We talked all the way there. When we got home, I gave her a bath. Later on, things started getting passionate. We started doing intercourse, and some of the noises she made you would have thought she was still alive!
What's the difference between Tyler and a rooster? A rooster says, "cock-a-doodle-doo," Tyler says, "any cock will do."
If sex before marriage is a sin, is sex after marriage cos or tan?
How can you tell if a heterosexual man has been using the computer?
There is sperm on the computer screen.
Why is it that when Donald Trump and Melania make love, she is always on top?
Donald Trump can only F@#k up.
A woman marries a man and has 7 children. The husband dies, and she marries another man. She has another 7 children, and later the husband dies. A year later she gets married again, and has another 7 children. She dies after a few months.
At the funeral, a man sees the priest looking at the heavens. He walks over and hears the man say, "They're finally together again." The man looks at the priest and says, "With her husband?" The priest looks at the man and says, "No, her legs."